As more developments are made in my story, I feel that is is best to come here for advice. The last post I made mainly dealt with my anger, a feeling in my chest that causes me to writhe in a pain that is almost pleasurable. The last thing I mentioned was a voice that speaks to me and says things in an attempt to get me to release it. People in comments have told me about their similar experiences but I think the situation may have become more complicated.
As I was sitting and doing homework (a prime moment for the voice to start calling out to me.) the feeling in my chest was progressively getting worse and more frequent. The voice (Who I recently discovered is male) soon after started back up. The voice has altered what it says to me recently. For the past few weeks it's began trying to get me to remember something. Like I mentioned in the comments of my last account, whenever I'm visited by this entity in a dream or I feel it's touch in the real world, Its eerily familiar. It's as if I knew him before. To go even further, He's told me that I once cared for him.
So back to what just occurred. The feeling was sending my body into constant convulsions that I could not seem to stop no matter what I did. The voice came back but this time its tone seemed... Caring in a way. Like he was worried about me. He just kept saying "Please, please." and I heard him clear as day. I felt his touch on my shoulders and arms almost like he was wrapping his arms around me but his touch only caused the feeling in my chest to become more severe.
By this point I'm writhing and clawing at anything near me. I'm in tears because I had this overwhelming sense of hurt, loss even. I could almost imagine him standing next to me wanting nothing more than to comfort me and it was then that the though popped into my head, 'Was it him that I lost?' Just as it seems that the pain/pleasure was becoming too unbearable in my chest (I really thought I was dying,) I'm continuously saying please back to this person that I think is causing this in an effort to make him stop. Then all of a sudden I said "Please L******!" (name omitted,) and the feeling reached an all time high. He just started saying "You remembered," over and over again and I could hear the relief in his voice. Soon the feeling began to subside and I could breathe again.
Since this happened I keep getting these flashes of scenes and images that from what he has told me are memories of our time together. Anytime I remember something new, another pulse rushes through me and I'm overcome with foreign emotions. I know I knew him, and from the way I'm feeling now he's right, I did care for him. I loved him. I just can't remember why. He told me that in our time, we were different from others so that made us dangerous and that's why I lost him. I started to see another scene and I was overcome with this feeling of grief, sadness, loss, hurt, pain, and most of all anger. Just when I though I was going to figure out what it meant it was like the memory was blocked and he kept telling me "Please don't focus on that, please not yet." I think it was the memory of how I lost him.
If anyone has any information on past lives please help. While I do believe that people have past lives and have been born again may times, I did not think it was possible to remember them. I also want to know how it could be possible for the spirit of someone to come this far in time and latch onto me like he did. I can tell from the surroundings and clothes in the scenes this was sometime in the Victorian era. I need information so I can learn more about who I was and how it is affecting my current life.
Thanks for any advice that you can give.
The-cellist
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