I feel like I am unable to feel as spiritual as I felt before. Earlier my abilities were out of control, like telepathy, and also remote viewing, hearing people at distance as if they were talking in my own room. Hearing voices non stop. I just wished for all of it to be in control and probably get rest, since it did hurt me a lot. I also felt people reacting to my messages, and they were uncontrollable. It does not happen anymore, but I surely miss having my abilities. I felt proud to be sensitive, and I loved helping people. Lately I feel competitive, and also materialistic. I am 24 years old, and I am always thinking how I have to achieve all my material ambitions in the next 4 years. I feel competitive suddenly and I am not sure if I am picking the energies of the place I live in. I feel like I want to do all the great things I see on television. Some people on television have had a bad influence on me, it must be funny but it wasn't to me a while back. Esp advertisements make me feel very competitive.
I just feel like a different person and I hope that I am able to feel my abilities, I am just resting and it should come back.
I just hope it is temporary, because I am scared.
I have no spiritual friends right now as such, who could help me have faith. My family knows of my fears, but they do not encourage or understand the gifts as much. I am just afraid that I am spoiling myself because of others. Or just because I could not control them earlier, I have shut them now as I was picking many evil things from old partnerships earlier. I felt I knew everything about everyone, that made me feel exhausted. I still have constant headaches and I wish to have more direction with this. I do not understand the headaches, cause the sides of my head. I feel tired. Sometimes they suddenly appear and go away. I am not sure if I am attracting other's negativity. I am worried. Any thoughts that could help?
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I feel we have these moments of emptiness after a great 'high' in order for us to recharge our batteries. The spiritual high takes a lot out of the physical body, probably why most of us feel some varying forms of anxiety during our practices.
The point I think is for us to slow down, and since our guides know that we won't slow it down without some kind of push I feel they take initiative to 'disappear' for a bit so we can learn the lessons we are meant to on our own. I rely too heavily on my guides to show me where to go, when they go off like that I feel very troubled and lonely. Most days they are all I have to keep me level, I know for me I need to become disciplined enough to do things on my own. I don't have that confidence yet, but Itll come. Just slow and steady... Phew!