My Third Eye Is Open

My spiritual journey started back in 2011 and has just intensified since. I was in a abusive relationship, all alone with no friends or family and lost hope. One night after another abusive (mentally, emotionally, physically) argument with my xbf he left and I was ready to die. For 3 days he was gone and for 3 days I cried, cut my wrist, one specific song on repeat and drinking alcohol until I passed out. Passing out and waking up again doing the same thing for 3 days, which was when he returned. I call that time my 3 days of darkness. I didn't want to be here any more. I couldn't take any more pain and as I cried and slit my wrist I cried out to whatever higher power might exist. See before this moment I stopped believing in god at the age of 14 due to an incident in my church. So I said that night " what ever higher power may be up there, please help me. I'll change I'll do anything. Please I just can't take this any more I can't live like this." So after my 3 days of darkness my xbf came home we mended things for the moment and things started changing automatically in my life. Experiences that I had never sought out or knew about before came to me. I started wanting to juice and eat raw food no apparent reason. I started seeing numbers and having many mystical experiences. My dreams have been very vivid and some time prophetic. Etc...etc...I could list many things from the past 4yrs but what I really want to address is more recently. So for the past 4 years I can see I'm being guided to do certain things learn certain things go certain places and most recently I was guided to watch a documentary called Secrets in Plain Sight after watching this I happened to go to a juice bar and was drawn to by a book called Secret Language of Signs. Not noticing until later the synchronicity between the two. Then I went home to visit my some friends and family in Illinois like I always have and it was the worst trip ever! I started to see things in people that I had close relationships with that I hadn't seen before and a lot of it seemed very demonic. It was very scary and traumatic. I've tried to point out to others what I'm seeing and they just don't get it or understand? It appears as though my family and the close friend I had are all manipulative and abusive and I don't feel safe with them or that I can trust them. It's strange its like all of a sudden I just woke up in a bad dream. As this is not typical for me I'm a very positive happy person. Which I did have a dream before I went to visit the fam and in it I felt very disconnected with my family which honestly has really been the case for most my life. In my dream I left the room where my family was went to the bathroom and a familiar face of someone I know who's not a blood relative says you've seen them haven't you and I said who, they replied the guardian angels. I said yes and they hugged me and said welcome to the family. So from the dream I got that even though my family is dysfunctional and I have no connection or support there my guardian angels who've seen and who speak to me in many ways is my family and hear for me in dream and waking life:) So I know there is something different about me cause I do feel energy, vivid dreams, some prophetic dreams, paranormal experiences etc... What do I do with all this. Sometimes I wish I had a mentor.