I have had premonitions all my life. In retrospect it was important that I had them as the premonitions gave me a reason to live. I was badly abused as a youth. The first premonition I had was of my future as an adult. I was 15 at the time and knew that I was in my 40's in the premonition. Most of the premonitions I have had in life have had some connection to that original premonition. Let me back pedal a little and say that after the first premonition I was able to return to the premonition about a month later. I did so with a purpose in mind; to ask a question. The question I asked was "How do I get here?" You see the premonition was so wonderful, I had never felt so at home before or since, so I wanted to know how to get there. I received a answer in a voice not my own. The answer was, "You will have to leave someone important behind."
Well, at that time in my life, with the events of my life as they were, there was no one so important that I could not leave them behind to feel that safety, and security on a permanent basis. So for decades I lived, just getting by, knowing that in my future was a wonderful life. And I would receive what I called landmarks from time to time. Brief premonitions of unrelated events that I took to tell me that I was on the right path.
I am in my mid-40's now. About 2 -3 years ago I started having premonitions of my husband's death. It was then that I understood the answer I'd been given to my question. My husband is the one person I have grown to be unwilling to let go of. In truth, I came to the decision that nobody's life was worth my happiness, but certainly not my husband's. I tried and tried to think of ways around it that would guarantee us both safe passage around this event but could not come up with anything. I became totally focused of getting around this event.
About 9 - 12 months ago, I had a dream. I was standing in a place that was all white surrounded by a white mist. Out of the mist before me came a figure. As the figure drew closer I knew the figure to be Jesus. He told me that I would no longer be able to see into the future. I responded with, "No! I like seeing into the future." Jesus smiled and laughed as He gave me a hug responding with "I know." Now it is important to me to note that I was not being disrespectful. While I do not go to church, I have spoken to Jesus all my life and believe that He responds all the time. So, I have a comfort level with Jesus that allows me to speak my mind with Him while knowing that, in the end, what He says goes.
Since then I have not had any premonitions. My husband's death has not come to pass yet, but then the events surrounding it are not expected until sometime next year. I do not presume to get a different answer from someone else, but without my premonitions I feel very uncertain about my future. Honestly, I cannot imagine how people go their entire lives not knowing something of what is coming. I don't really know what I was thinking would come of this, but I guess I was just hoping to get your thoughts on things.
Thanks for listening
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