I was born with multiple natural abilities. When I was young most of the authority figures often told me I was too sensitive. They made me feel like my sensitive nature was a bad thing. Something I had to overcome. Nobody could understand that I couldn't just toughen up or lessen it, it was and still is the trait that makes me who I am. I would not recognize myself if my sensitivity would go away because a totally new person would exist in my place. I was drawn to metaphysics in childhood and began learning what I could through books. As an adult I realized I was a very strong empath and that is why I suffered so much as a child. I always joked that I was a little psychic. I started reading tarot at 14 and think years of practice helped me to develop other abilities I did not realize I had until recently. I have inclinations towards healing and I obtained my Reiki Master attunements a couple years ago. Since then but especially over the last year my "little bit" psychic ability has gone through the roof. My strongest areas since childhood are clairsentience and claircognisence. I've been using these very much like one uses their sense of smell. Because it came naturally I never realized that other people do not work this way. It is awkward because I feel like I have to reverse engineer myself. Like I was using my abilities but I couldn't tell you how or what the process is. I only used to get flashes of intuition when I was focusing on a reading and the information I got was always relevant to the reading. Now I'm getting stuff all the time and there is no filter for it. Knowledge about people or situations just appears in my mind and I understand it. I have a very clear feeling of certainty when it happens. Like I know this in the same way I know the sky is up. I have nothing I can use to verify these flashes except the passage of time. I can't back up anything with logic or fact. It' is awkward sometimes with friends and family. There are times I want to share in a friend's optimism in a relationship but I get information dumped and I just "know" it isn't going to work out. Or sometimes I see something about someone very close to me that is disturbing. I don't want to believe this about someone I care about. I start to question my sanity. Like how much of this is my intuition and how much of this is just me being crazy? I started keeping my mouth shut about things I sense. Where do you draw the line on when to say something and when to be silent? I don't want people to struggle with things unnecessarily, but also respect that each person must experience their lives good and bad to grow and develop. What do you do when you pick up something scary or disturbing about friends or family? It's like I've always had abilities I just had this interesting way of combining them all together with all the other book knowledge and life experiences to draw conclusions. It felt somewhat rational. I can no longer use logic to explain the things I sense. I am starting to doubt myself where I was once confident. Many things I've sensed turned out to be correct. I have had intense experiences of a new kind also. I am not a medium and I can feel spirits but usually can't communicate with them or see them.
I had done a mini reiki session on a co worker. Nothing happened during the session. But then I got in my car and drove away. About 5 minutes later I start feeling weird. Then suddenly I felt like very heavy weight on my chest and couldn't breathe. An image appeared in my mind of a pair of red lungs being consumed by blackness. A voice literally started shouting my ears like it hurt it was so loud. It showed me the image and screamed at me that I needed to tell the girl I worked with to stop smoking now. That was the sentence it kept shouting. It would not stop. I had to pull my car over. The vibe I got was I needed to get in my car turn around and deliver the message now. Do not pass go do not collect 200$. I went back to my work and told her what was happening. Both she and I were visibly freaked out. I described what I thought the energy looked like and she said it was her mom who had passed from lung cancer. She said she felt like her mom tried to visit her in her sleep but she got scared and ignored it. The shouting in my head did not go away until I pulled up to my work. Something like that has never happened to me before. Honestly it freaked me out. Was this a one time thing or can I look forward to this happening more?
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