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Confirmation

 

This will likely be a bit shorter than my other submissions, and the purpose is to ask a question that will hopefully lead to some understanding or connection on my part, that I am not alone in this.

Let me start off by giving a bit of a story to help explain my point of view.

In case you have not read my other submissions I would like to inform you that I never had much of a support system concerning any of my abilities.

The treatment I received ranged between being scoffed at, put down, told I am a liar, or just being dismissed entirely. In general, it has been fairly negative.

This created a lot of anxiety, depression and anger for me. However something else that I can only trace back to that treatment is the incessant need to prove myself.

It ranges through everything, from proving I colored a picture, to presenting my college degree as a display of truth.

It is increasingly frustrating and difficult for me to deal with. I am constantly fighting that need.

Most recently, my parents went through a divorce, perhaps 3 or 4 years ago. This resulted in my mother eventually getting her own house.

I have been on my own since I was 18 years old, so I wasn't right in the middle of the mess when it started (I was 20), thankfully. However, because of my lacking involvement with the situation, I had no idea that she had even gotten her own house until we went out for lunch one day and she decided to drive me by it. She was just closing on the house so she had only walked through it a hand full of times, and she knew nothing of the property.

I had put my foot down when I was 19 and decided to work with my gifts rather than running from them. As a result, when she drove by her house, I was open with her about what I picked up on, regardless of if she wanted to hear it or not.

I told her about picking up on a woman named Mildred, and that I believed they called her Millie. I told her she was about 67 years old, very motherly and a few other things that I was able to recognize.

Of course, as usual, she just scoffed at me and then ignored me after.

A few months later (about 4 months ago from today's date - 5/21/2016) she admitted to me about seeing a few weird things in the house. Being that I am a walking thesaurus on the Paranormal and Generally Odd, she turned to me for answers. It was then that I learned she had actually talked to a few neighbors and gotten a few letters in the mail a dressed to one miss Mildred Hale.

Mildred was a real person. Living at that address just a few years peior, and she passed away at age 67. She has several kids, and she always had at least one of them living with her at all times. (The basement of this house is fantastic by the way, it's essentially a studio apartment down there. I love it) I found that everything I had informed her of she had managed to confirm.

This confirmation was fantastic. It was validation to me, and proof to her - somebody that had always scoffed at me - that I'm not crazy or just making things up.

But the thing is, I shouldn't have to feel that way. I shouldn't have to feel like I need to prove myself to my own mother. I shouldn't have to be excited about something validating my words.

I just wandered of anybody else had or has this issue, and how are you or did you deal with it? I think I seriously need to find a way to cope, because it's getting to the point where I am having a difficult time forgiving people for treating me less than I deserve just because I can't pull documentation out of thin air for the spirits I encounter or the information they decide to give me.

I really don't like feeling as though I am in a constant state of unsure insecurity. Any advice or similar stories would be appreciated.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by psychic-experiences.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Nepheara, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

laurencat (8 stories) (20 posts)
 
2 years ago (2016-05-26)
Neph

I do not know if meditation will work or not. It has not done anything so far. I lie down while doing because I cannot sit in the lotus position due to having Cerebral Palsy. I have noticed how my subconscious works though. Even though I kind of doze off into a sleep like state. It is interesting to see my subconscious drift from one thing to the other. This just goes to show that I have pretty powerful mind. I just need to learn how to use my mind in order to make a living. I am trying to focus on root chakra so I can possibly heal up any physical ailments that I have. I tend to live in my head all the time and ignore the outside. I just want to root myself back in the physical world while keeping my internal world intact. If I ever do obtain spiritual abilities, I hope I can use them to help others.
Nepheara (5 stories) (8 posts)
 
2 years ago (2016-05-26)
Laurencat,

Meditation was never my thing. I was always told that it's a good place to start but the only thing I ever got out of it was a bad experience.

However, you sound like you have a plan! That is fantastic! I will say though, take precautions to protect yourself while you meditate. When you meditate you open yourself up, and that makes it easy for you to reach a more spiritual level but it can also make you a target. My bad experience comes from not knowing that before hand. So just be careful. Some people never have a problem with it and may even say there is no need, but it never hurts to put in place a plan to protect you self from psychic or spiritual attacks.

Chakras were never my thing either, actually. I don't even know much about them, other than a particular expiearence where a red energy (in my minds eye) completely enveloped a sore part of my body and it fixed the issue. I initially was trying to meditate and envision a white healing light, that is what I was told to do, but the red rush of energy just kind of popped up out of nowhere and it was like instant pain relief.

It was accidental the first time, the second time I kind of made it happen. I haven't been able to do it since. Then again I havn't put a lot of effort into it because I havn't needed it.

As far as it being a sport, probably not lol some people have an expiearence and that close encounter is enough to wake their abilities, even if before they were not sensitive. Some people are born with it. There are even people who just wake up one day and they can do it. Sometimes its a gradual process and sometimes everything just falls on someone's shoulders all at once. Everybody's situation is unique so it really depends. There is definitely a good chance to develop something with hard work and diligence, talent aside. They say everybody is psychic in some way, deep down.

Besides, hard work will always out weight talent that never practices.

Keep up the good work:D

-Neph
laurencat (8 stories) (20 posts)
 
2 years ago (2016-05-24)
Hey Neph Thank you for your kind words. I figured I would try focusing on chakras and balance them out some. I am trying to work on meditation. That seems to be first step to developing psychic abilities. I do not know if I am doing anything right, but my body does get pretty heavy. My mind starts to drift almost into a dream state. I tried working on my throat chakra and root chakras. I never really heard of "non-sensitive" person becoming "sensitive," but I am going to give this a shot. Maybe spirituality is like sports. You have to have talent to go along with the hard work. I am going to have see. Even if I fail hardcore. I do not care. At least I know from my small water drop of an experience that there is something beyond the physical. Have a great night. Keep us posted on you are doing. My e-mail is lauren3332 [at] gmail.com if you ever want to get in touch.
Gabbie (47 posts)
 
2 years ago (2016-05-24)
I am glad I was able to help:)

You know, a lot of times people say they want to know, they want to understand, but in reality they are just curious. Or wish to only argue.

People DO prefer ignorence, because they are scared. Humanity is governed by fear. Fear of the unknown. And that will cost them.
Not everyone can handle honesty. It takes a lot of strength and maturity, sense of responsibility and appreciation of the deep and honest, to be able to respect a different view, whether you accept it or not.

It is, indeed, upon us to guide these people, but, it's an effort of both sides. Let's just keep working hard on ourselves and pray for these poor souls to find a way out of the darkness that's misguiding them
Nepheara (5 stories) (8 posts)
 
2 years ago (2016-05-24)
Laurencat,

While the situations and reasoning may not be the same, the idea behind the issues agree. Not being accepted by your family for who you are, that is. Being dismissed in general is really hard.

I am super proud of you for being the woman that you are though. It seems to me that while a transition is difficult, you are still kicking. You havn't given up no matter the lack of acknowledgement from people who are supposed to be there to support you. That takes a lot more courage than I will ever have.

You are right, it is a situation where you have to believe in yourself - for both of us.

Noticing stuff like that, or hyper-vigilance to a specific thing (if you have ruled out medical issues) can some times be interpreted as a "sign", depending on how you would like to take it.

I learned early on that if I am noticing something a lot (like how you are noticing more paranormal stuff or psychic stuff, even in movies) there is a reason for it, and I typically investigate what I am seeing - but not always. I don't really view this as a sign, per se, but more like following my instinct. If I am noticing something a lot but I don't have that... I guess you could call it an " instinctual pull", I tend to let it go more often than not.

I just kind of listen to my gut or intuition with any hyper-vigilance I expiearence. Just remember your health should always come first so no matter what your gut is saying, think through what is going on and don't put yourself in a dangerous situation.

For some reason, I want to suggest to you to maybe explore Reiki, or spiritual healing. I don't really have any foundation for that suggestion. Just one of those gut feelings.

Take care and stay strong.

- Neph
Nepheara (5 stories) (8 posts)
 
2 years ago (2016-05-23)
Gabbie,

I'm sorry that you have to go through this, but also, I am relieved if not a bit happy to know that I am not alone in this struggle. It is a weight off my shoulders to be able to truly connect with somebody with this specific issue and know that at least one person understands.

I have been trying for years to tell them, and work with them. Easing them into it wasn't going well so I just decided to throw all my chips onto the table and say "here you go", after all, they already scoff at me or ignore me, what more could they do?

Still, I try to help them learn and understand. But it's almost like a losing battle. In one ear and out the other.

It took a slap in the face for my mother to realize I was being serious and I am still suspicious that she still doesn't quite believe me.

It's a real fight to be so let down by those who you are supposed to be able to rely on the most.

I was always taught to be honest and open, to communicate. What happens when the people you are trying to communicate with don't want to listen?

Even worse, what if they punish you for telling the truth? Simply because they refuse to try and understand. It is like they would prefer ignorance. And that mess leaves you tramatized, and scared to be who you are ment to be.

Ignorance is bliss I guess. If they don't acknowledge it, it isn't real. My older sister is sensitive as well, though not to my same degree, and she has flat out told me that she doesn't want to be open to it or learn about it. It baffles me.

But maybe you are right. Perhaps this is a matter that I should have been more cautious with. I don't know.

I will be here if and when they decide they want to listen but I think I am going to take your advice and just work on myself for a while.

I appreciate your response, it has been very refreshing for me.

Take care! I am always here if you want to share more thoughts.

-Neph
laurencat (8 stories) (20 posts)
 
2 years ago (2016-05-23)
I am not a "sensitive" by any means. I had an experience with an evil spirit once about a month ago. However, I do know what it is like to know something about yourself that no one else acknowledges. This a bit inappropriate for this board, but I am going to say it anyway. I am a trans woman. No one else is in my family believes that I am a woman. They will always see me as a guy no matter what. I learned that I had to believe in myself regardless of what everyone else thought. I became happier about myself once I accomplished this goal. While transsexualism is not the same as being spiritually aware, it does share the same type of stigma.

I also have found that I am starting to hear and see more things regarding being psychic in the physical realm. Ever since I had my incident with the evil spirit, I have heard a few people talk about ghosts and psychics. I also watched Ghostbusters two again due to the remake coming out soon. Bill Murray's character has a show regarding psychics in the beginning of the movie. I also have noticed that I a lot of the music I have been listening to over the decade half has a lot of lyrics that deal with spirituality. I am probably just being quirky.

Anyway, believe in yourself and your abilities. If other people choose to ignore them, then so be it. Be and know who you are.
Gabbie (47 posts)
+1
2 years ago (2016-05-23)
Hello Nepheara,

Matter of fact, I went through something similar with my own family, quite recently. I, also, decided to be open up about my gifts, and experiences, thinking that they would understand me and support me. After the huge fight that broke out, and me ending up having to hide my true self and force myself in my family's standards, I dare say, I know exactly how you feel. I was left with great disappointment, heart ache and anger. Both towards myself, for having my hopes up, but with my family too, for not being able to respect and understand, even on a basic level, my diversity.

I must admit, that even now, 1 month after, I feel deeply wounded, as I considered these people my family and people I can help and take with me when the time for me to leave, comes. People whom I believed would believe my words, as I was always honest and a good daughter for them.

Regardless of all this ache I'm feeling inside, I know that, we, those who experience beyond common human logic and understanding, should have known better. It is impossible for someone who has never experienced what we have, emotions, occurencies, sightings etc, to comprehend the greatness and weight of one's gifts and the responsibility that comes with them. The burning desire to use those abilities to help and save, to live for a greater cause, for ideals, for the Soul. Humans, even though, their very existence is a miracle itself, fail to realize the magnificence of this world and its mysteries, and that's because, unfortunatelly, they are being ripped off of their spiritual side, their connection to the Highest, because of the typical and clearly flesh-pleasing, lifestyle promoted by society and media.

Personally, I hope to one day manage and help them connect to their real self, the deeper and high miracle residing within them.

So my friend, you can only look at these people with sadness and compassion for their lack of understanding and incapacity to even respect another's view on a basic level. Trust me, I know very well how hard this is but we have to be strong. And I say "we", because i'm currently fighting this with you. My family, did not only fear the unknown, they also tried to "protect" me from supposed evil spirits or going crazy.Something, everyone who loves someone would do. A day will come where these people will see for themselves, but until then, hold on tight and work hard on yourself, and on helping those who truly need it.

I enjoyed sharing my thoughts with you.
Talk Soon
Gabbie

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