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I Want To Feel Free

 

I am 18 years of age, and a senior in highschool ever since I was a little girl I felt extremely different than others. It all started when I was small, I remember being somewhere where a higher individual asked me who I wanted my mother to be, and I chose my mom. I've never shared that vision with anyone else but her. After all these years I still feel as if she's the only one I can speak to about my experiences. Being a little girl I had some very harsh panic attacks before going to bed and I never knew the reason why. As I grew older I started to see the repeating number 33 and 11. I'd see them everywhere, and once I told my mom she told me she'd see the number 33 all the time as well. As time went by I started seeing the number 44 way more at least 20 times a day. I began to look into it and realized that it was my angels trying to get a hold of me and remind me that they are there if needed. I am a christian and love the lord Jesus Christ, but I also surround myself with Buddhas and things like that which help to keep me feel at ease. I like crystals and meditating, and I love to wonder which is all against gods word. Which leaves me in a state of not knowing whether to go deeper or stop. After going through depression, I started to feel energies, I knew who had bad intentions and who didn't, I knew who to speak to and who not to speak to, I knew what was going on behind what the person was showing. I started to see people for who they truly were which led me to become a loner and antisocial. I feel I do not belong with my peers because they were mostly not good people. I started to see sparks of light everywhere, on my skin, in the sky. I go outside and I never see just the sky I see everything that is floating in it. I've had sleep paralysis, I've had a very vivid person and archangel come out in one of my pictures, I've felt my phone vibrate knowing who it is while it being rooms away. I have random extreme anxiety attacks if something is emotionally going on inside any of my loved ones I can feel what they feel. I know when someone is lying. I sometimes feel this electric rush through my body when my mind is clear and I do not understand what I am nor what I'm here for. The more aware I am the more I hate school and the entire system. I want to be free but don't know how and now I feel like I can't speak to anyone because they do not understand. I feel lost again.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by psychic-experiences.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, aruiz44, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

MoonInsideMe (2 stories) (30 posts)
 
9 months ago (2017-04-21)
i literally I just bursted into laugh not because this is funny, but because I though I was the only one that felt those things, I guess we are not alone after all, I just wish I knew you all in person so I wouldn't feel so alone ❤
kyclie (3 stories) (25 posts)
+1
10 months ago (2017-04-07)
v I guarantee working with crystals do not attract demons. But in matter of fact if you do use crystals, use ones with good energies in them and not bad energy.

I was like you before and I know exactly how you feel. I know you feel lost like you don't belong in anywhere and etc etc. It is hard and I believe maybe you may be an old soul, like me! I used to feel left out and when my "normal" friends had sleepovers and parties, they'd be really fun for THEM. But as for me, I can sense energy automatically around me and all that and sometimes if there's depression or bad energy around that gets me down and I've had one friend ask me what was wrong with me, being suddenly happy, then sad, then angry. I've lost a lot of friends along the way and it's been a pretty rough ride. Same for you. But now I'm in a better place with a high reputation at my school, I have family that's always joking around with me, friends that understand my magic and accept and thinks it's cool, and I discovered I had a spirit attached to me that I've had a long, happy friendship with it ever since I was a kid. A lot of things may happen and it's not your fault. You have your angels and others have their help. Don't worry. Worrying will make it worse and the fear or being struck down again will control you rather than you controlling yourself. Always believe you're in control, always believe that you're good enough for anything, always have faith and hope as your angels will guide you throughout life. In my belief, not all humans on earth have angelic protectors and if you do come across one, you're very lucky as they are powerful and strong.

Hope this helps! ❤
Pennies4U (46 posts)
 
1 year ago (2016-10-20)
You appear to be an empathy. As you speak about feeling others emotions. When we grow most empathys isolate and this is a way of recharging. The fact that you enjoy your own company. Respect your mom and can identify neg youths and wish to distant yourself is showing maturity.

The idea of putting crystals or Buddha around yourself is telling me you are feeling ungrounded.

There are many types of Christianity.
And if your church is not preaching condemnation for having crystals. Do not fret.
AltoLati (1 stories) (1 posts)
 
1 year ago (2016-10-19)
No, Crystals are not inviting demons into your life. In fact, they're likely doing the opposite. I share a similarity with you in the fact that I used to see the number 33 all the time as well. When I was around that age myself, I was in the process of discovery as well, being a Christian myself. I feel like there is only so little that the Church can teach us in regards to our own spirituality, and that sometimes we need to focus on our relationship to God on a personal level, through meditations and the like.

Reading your post almost reminds me a little bit of myself in all honesty... The depression and seeing the bad side of my peers. Sometimes I wonder why I was cursed with these gifts, but I learned the best way is to use them to help others, but not forgetting to help yourself too.
letitgo78 (7 posts)
 
1 year ago (2016-10-19)
If you mess with crystAls you are inviting demons into your life. I've dealt with them my whole life and you are making a big mistake screwing around with crystals. Ask me anything I will tell you. I have gone through it all.

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