I have had several unexplained 'gut feelings" over my lifetime, not too many, about once every 5 years as an average. I am 57 years old. This last experience 3 days ago is what has caused me to now write this story. I have been low on energy for several months, diagnosed with Major Depression over 2 decades ago, so I have been struggling with that most of my adult life. With several personally traumatic events occurring the last 2 years, My therapist and I had decided I needed to switch antidepressants, so I went on 10 mg Celexa. This is week 6 of being on this med.
I found a burst of energy and began moving things around in my bedroom, mostly personal geegaws that had been collecting dust. I had my spotify playlist cranking and felt good. I was moving these items into my newly obtained "creation cave" - a spare bedroom I had claimed for my personal space. I poured myself a vodka and OJ and puttered some more. A song by Big Head Todd came on, and it made me ponder a bit on my older brother who had worked out the chords to this song as one of his last endeavors. (He passed in 2005). It always made me think of him with strong, loving "connected" emotion. Over the course of the next hour I became increasingly anxious, and my thoughts were scattering over everything yet nothing in particular. I became more and more fretful, with a major sense of some unknown but impending doom - a "TRAGEDY" is what my mind kept telling me. I wound myself up into a hysterical frenzy. I went so far as to write a note saying "I have gone manic! If someone needs to know, I am on citalopram and think it has affected me adversely" Finally my husband came home from work and found me in the bathroom crying. I told him something bad is going to happen, something tragic. My husband has been respectful of my past "gut feelings", tho I can't say he has any strong beliefs about the otherworldly. He managed to calm me after several minutes to a somewhat rational point and I had a sudden thought to call my other older brother. So, I called. I started by asking him if everything was ok with him, he responded "Yes, Why?". Without answering the "why" I asked if there was something going on with anyone in his/our family. He responded "Maybe. Why?" So I related to him what I had felt and told him I didn't know what the &*%* was going on and I was really afraid. He then related to me that he had awoken from a dream 2 nights ago, and looked at the clock-it was 3 am. His adrenaline was flowing so strong he could not go back to sleep that night. In his dream he had been walking with a woman, just chatting, and suddenly the woman turned to him and said in an almost incredulous but disdainful tone "who would call to tell that news in the middle of the night?" (This dream was the reason he had responded with a "maybe"). So we talked about past experiences we had each had that were similar. We talked about having psychic gifts or a 6th sense curse. We talked about other family members we had heard about who had been said to have "abilities". We both came to an agreement that probably someone in our bloodline would be passing soon. He seemed to think it was a male, with children, I just felt it was a tragedy, but definitely bloodline for me to have gotten so worked up over it. I felt much better talking with him, I felt my strange and uncontrollable anxieties had validation. 2 hours later, when I was on facebook, a cousin of mine I had not conversed with in about 5 years chatted me and wanted to know if I could help her out with our family tree. She had been talking with her sister the day before and got excited about rediscovering her roots. She herself had done quite bit of genealogy 20 years ago, and I had done extensive research work 15 years ago with interest spurts here and there since then. It freaked me out that this would happen this day.
So far my brother nor I have had any word of any relative passing. Our relatives are scattered across the world. I am starting to wonder if this was a panic attack of some sort, tho I have never experienced anything so strong and out of my thought control. Perhaps the rawness of the mind at such a time leaves one more susceptible to incoming transmission? I do believe there are no coincidences. I also believe that a universal subconsciousness exists. Comments?