Who am I? I used to wonder over and over. Never really felt like I fit in with my family.
My youngest memory was where I was really little and we were in an RV going somewhere and my mother came to me and ask me who was I talking to. I said the man in the window. I can still remember the man looking in the window as we were riding down the road. I didn't understand why my mom took me up front to sit with her. I've had many experiences, too many to be coincidental. My mother told me she was afraid of me more than one time. So I learned to hide it. I never felt accepted.
I remember when I turned 17 years old I was in my room and I heard sirens but it wasn't my TV so I went in the living room and saw my mom laying on the couch. She had been sick a long time and my step-dad was sitting in a chair. It was not their TV either. I went onto the porch but didn't hear it, but yet I did and it really bugged me. A few days later I heard them coming and I knew then what it was. My mother died during the night and it was the ambulance coming to take her.
I won't say my dreams and experiences are always bad for they are not. Each time I have been pregnant I saw my children before they were in my arms and I will always consider that a blessing.
I feel like I have two types of dreams. Ones that I know are just a dream and the other ones feel different. They look different and it is like I already know that is going to happen.
One time I had a dream of my fiancée putting watermelons in a closet. For the life of me I couldn't figure out why any one would put a watermelon in a closet. And also a young man was there that I had never seen before and didn't pay much attention to him.
When I woke, I told him of my dream and kind of laughed it off. It was about a month later and we had gone to the farmers market and I ended up with 3 big watermelons with no room for all them in the refrigerator so he put them in the closet. Then I went shopping and when I came home he said, "Look honey, my nephew is over." I took my fiancée aside and said, "Baby, that's the boy I saw." I then asked him to ask the boy to be careful for the month of July as something was going to happen." He told the boy who laughed and left. I then told him what the boy was wearing in my dream and that night he came back and he was wearing those very clothes. Again, I asked him to take care. He did not take me serious, you know how people can be. But that very night he ended up in some trouble that he could have avoided if he only listened to me.
My daughter is like me and her girls are like us. My middle grandbaby was lying in the play pen looking up laughing and giggling with hands out. Her sister, a couple years older, told her, "Mommy, the little girl who used to live here wants to play too." I later found a brother I was separated from since a small child and he says he has it too. In fact, he's the one who asked me. So maybe it does run in families but I do believe we are all sensitive just some more than others is all.
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