Things Are Holding Me Back

I was born in the city and moved around a lot as a child growing up. I was raised catholic and I am a very spiritual person. My mother is one of the strongest women I know considering what she went through in her life and raising a single child. She always did the right thing. One day she decided to go to a well renown psychic (I remember this day quite vividly and I was just a baby). She wrote everything down that was told. So far everything has come true that was told and I'm hoping and praying to god that times can change. If what was told for me and my mother has come true I hope better times are foreseen for my family and for all.

The funny thing is that, what has come true has passed. What my mother copied down has been true. I wonder why this women stopped foretelling the reading? Is it because it was all negative? Or was it to be decided by fate, human responsibility or karma? That's not the end of this story. There's so much more! During my high school years I was an A+ student through sophomore year (to digress a little). I have always wanted a true girlfriend. After some time playing music with friends and meeting tons of new people, I met a beautiful girl through some friends. Everything was going great. Then came an experience I can only describe as believable to those that are spiritual. I feel so afraid to type what has happened and I re-live this shiat everyday. The consequences have already happened for this person that committed this crime. The crazy thing is that I had to give a ride home to this guy and I felt bad because he honestly couldn't remember what happened. I don't think this kid would ever do this to someone else. There's more, my girlfriend at the time her brother was always paranoid about things he eventually broke down and was committed to the hospital and got help.

Now I'm suffering from paranoia and it's ruining my life and I feel like it's ruining others too. I'm a gifted person with talent in the arts and trade. All of my work is failing and I can't get ahead with anything I do. I work on military aircraft parts and there being rejected left and right. I'm hanging onto my job by a thread. Luckily the work I do is X-rayed and what fails will not be put into airplanes. I don't understand why my work, (which I take so much pride in and love) is falling apart? There are a lot of missing details to this story which I haven't typed but only have the patience for what is truly significant right now.