Are Spirits Trying To Contact Me Or Am I Just Paranoid?

Since this is the first time I have visited this site let me introduce myself. My wiccan name is Skyfire but my given name is Theresa. I am 33 years old and am married with two beautiful children. I have talked to a couple of people about my experiences and they believe I may be a medium. I am not sure what to think but I will tell about it. Maybe someone has had similar experiences and can help me figure out how to control/develop my gift. If indeed that is what it is.

The earliest experience I remember is lying in my bed at my grandmother's house in Johnstown, PA. There was a stairway to the attic in the room behind a locked door in the corner. I remember being woken from a dead sleep with the feeling that someone was staring at me. I was about four or five years old at the time and was really scared.

I looked around the room. Obviously, I did not see anything but I felt very frightened and the overwhelming feeling that I was not supposed to be there, like I needed to leave the room as soon as possible.

I closed my eyes tight and pulled the covers over my head. I then heard the attic door swing open. A few moments later it closed and latched. The key for this was not in that room and the attic was kept locked at all times!

Over the years, this happened every time I stayed in that room. No matter which of the other three bedrooms I slept in each time it was as if something was telling me to get out. It progressively came to the point the feeling hit me before I even went upstairs or to the basement.

The next experience I remember having is after my mother and I moved in with my step-father in Western Maryland. Everything was fine for a while and then one night I awoke to find people sitting on my bed.

I did not know who they were. I was about seven or eight years old at this point. It was a woman and two men. The woman was sitting by my side, there was a man sitting at my feet and the other man was lying down next to my feet. The woman just kept telling me everything was going to be alright.

I threw my head under the covers and began to shake. I thought I was just having a nightmare but I could hear them talking to each other even under the covers. I was paralyzed and could not move even if I wanted to. Finally, the feeling of terror went away and I peeked over the covers to find my bedroom empty again. I began to sob uncontrollably. I called for my mom but she never came. These experiences happened quite frequently until I moved out of that house.

I have had the feeling that someone is following me numerous times and when I look over my shoulder there is nothing there. I only spoke to my mother about this once and she wrote it off as being scared of the dark. After a while, I began to think she was right. Then, it started happening all the time.

My mother and I went to pick up my little sister from a birthday party. I was thirteen at the time. It was a very warm summer day and I was dressed in shorts and a t-shirt. The house her friend lived in was once part of the Underground Railroad. Her friends mother gave my mother and myself a tour of their home. Since it is an historic house nothing has changed since the civil war era.

I was fine until we got to the second floor. She took us to the attic, placed her hand on the doorknob and I got the overwhelming sensation not to open that door.

When she opened the door, an ice cold chill went right through the center of my body. I immediately became very nervous and had the overwhelming urge to get out of the house as fast as I could.

The last encounter I will share with you is after I moved to New England. I was living with my husband in Connecticut. I was pregnant with my son and was 24 years old. My husband, my daughter and myself decided to take his grandmother with us on an outing.

One of the historic houses in Suffolk, Connecticut was having an open house. We toured the first floor of the house and I felt someone following me. I pushed the feeling aside because we were in a tour group and just thought that was the reason.

We climbed the stairs to the second floor and I got the same feeling again so I moved to the back of the group. We entered one of the bedrooms and I became overwhelmed by something in that room. My head began to swim, became nauseous and I felt very faint. I had to grab my husband's arm so I would not fall over.

We went outside and got some fresh air. When my head cleared, I decided I wanted to finish the tour. So, we reentered the house and went directly to the second floor. We went into the same room and it hit me again like a ton of bricks.

If someone could please help me understand what is happening to me I would really appreciate it. There are times when it feels as though the "spirit"/"energy" is just curious. Then there are the times when I am scared it wants to harm me.

I would just like to know how to control it. When I meditate it becomes progressively worse. I have stopped meditation but I am feeling very "muddy". If you meditate you will understand what I mean. Please help me.