I've had this dream now about 3 times in the past few months. In the first dream I remember starting to spin on the floor while lying down, totally out of control. Like if you get a pencil and spin it on a table. In that dream I remember people around me and no one would help stop me. I kept reaching out to grab a hold of something or somebody and it wouldn't stop. Not even grabbing the floor, it was impossible.
Lately it happened again but not as vivid. Just the spinning. I also felt someone jump on me a few months ago as I was trying to fall asleep.
So here goes, I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder and I am Christian. Not a good combination because as Christians say, we have to declare that we have the holy spirit within us. Well let me just say that I had been revisiting lots of past traumas lately and jumping in and then out of the church scene. Mostly it's due to my disorder.
I wonder if my moments of refound faith or lack thereof is bringing these episodes on. I started therapy and stopped almost instantly. My therapist asked me if I thought I was possessed. I said no because I am a Christian. He prescribed Paxil and Xanax.
Could these attacks, because I strongly believe that's what they are, could they be due to my swaying commitment to the Lord. I mean I have total faith and have been Christian for 20 years now but I don't know if it's that or just my past coming back to haunt me. Anxiety and traumas can play lots of tricks on our minds. Should I mention this to my pastor or my therapist or both? WHAT'S YOUR HONEST OPINION WITH WHAT THIS MAY BE?
Terry
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