At Odds With My Abilities And Myself

I have been informed that I am psychic, and before this was confirmed id already had many experiences.

If you don't want to read the experiences skip - *to the point.

When I was 13-14 I had a paper round in a block of flats and while delivering I was, kind of drawn towards the roof of the building, the doors to which are covered in sheet metal so they swing shut and lock. However the door was left ajar when I arrived. There was silence in my head other than the single thought to go up the stairs, I proceeded up to the roof (I had forgotten my mobile that day) and on the third step I literally snapped out of it, as I wheeled around the door was swinging shut and I had to leap from the third step to catch it before it locked and I was trapped. I ran from the building and quit my round.

A few months later I was in the house alone with my sister and the same thing happened the only thought in my head was of my dads room and that I had to find something. My dads room had a yale lock. I went up the stairs staring at the door, went towards it and opened the door which was locked every morning after my dad left for work, I stepped into the room, looked around and thought "I can't find it" as I began to step backward the door slammed shut hitting my foot which bruised my toe. The door was locked. I must have screamed, though I don't remember making a sound, because my sister ran out of her room asking what was wrong. I told her and she checked the door, it was indeed locked again.

I once saw a pair of spectral feet standing in front of the kitchen sink at my parents house. I first thought it was a ghost. I could see all the detail of the trainers and jeans up to mid calf level. I was scared but they faded out as I stared. 5 minutes later my mum entered the kitchen from the door that led outside, she stood in that exact place and position and I realized that her trainers matched the ones id seen.

I heard my name whispered in an empty bathroom at my local super market.

A shadow figure appeared behind me while I was looking in the mirror straightening my hair, it slammed its hand on my shoulder and I actually FELT its touch, it was menacing. I now believe this was a vision of my future boyfriend who was very oppressive towards me.

I slept at my friends house and stayed in her toddler sons room with my other friend. I was laid with my eyes closed perfectly at ease then I felt another physical presence, it looked over the boys crib then came and leaned over the bed to look at me, I felt the bed tilt as it leaned against the mattress. I was too scared to open my eyes.

This was around 2am. At 3am I felt its presence vanish and I was instantly cured of my fear.

I dreamed my brother was talking to me and then suddenly he got really moody and snappy with me I asked what was wrong and he looked at me really scared and worried and said "I don't know, I don't know somethings wrong" the next morning my mum called and my brother had been in a car crash and was in intensive care.

I dreamed my dads van windows was cracked and shattered, it sounds sill but the next morning he called me to ask if I could fix windows on his computer because it has broken.

I recently dreamed that my grandmother (dad's side) was dying, she was very weak and she wanted to go see my nana (mums side) which was weird cause they don't know each other at all. 2-3 days later we found out that my boyfriends grandmother (dads side) was dying, his nana (mums side) is already dead. I believe it was symbolic of his grandma crossing over.

Ive also been told by a psychic that my boyfriends nana "really, really likes me" even though she died when my boyfriend was very young and I was even younger as there is 4 years between us.

*To the point.

I feel things in my gut so strong I just know and it breaks my heart and afterward I cry and feel really traumatized. I get the incredible urge to cover my ears and scream in utter pain!

I just feel such a freak sometimes because friends and such that know have loads of questions that I can't always answer its just sometimes I know!

I know what's meant to be and what isn't, I know what the core of an individual is as in why they are the way they are.

Sometimes I don't feel human at all.

When I see large grounds I'm amazed by people as though I actually aren't one and it freaks me out like I'm listening in to the thoughts of some guardian being or such.

I'm not really religious but I believe there is some spirit of some sort out there watching us, guiding us.

I just wish I didn't feel at the mercy of this knowledge.

I scared to be different even though in my family I am completely different from everyone even in the most normal ways.

: (

Anyhoo feels good to get this of off my chest.

I don't feel there's any help out there for me as such, I just kind of AM.

Ugh really don't know how to explain THAT! Haha:)