It was March 15 and I was a sophomore in high school. I was on my way to my Foods and Nutrition class, (home ect.) and I just got this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. It felt as if something was wrong or about to go wrong, but I went to class and finished out the rest of the day. I went home and my mother was standing at the door and I asked her if everything was ok. And she said yes, I then asked if Dad was ok and she said yes again. Then I told her about this feeling and went inside to call friends to check if they were ok, and everyone I talked to was fine. So I did my homework and got ready for my dance class.
I walked into the elementary school that I had gone to years prior and met up with one of my oldest friends and told her about this sinking feeling I couldn't shake. She just looked at me dumbfounded, I then asked her what was wrong. She said that she wasn't supposed to say anything but our friend Steve was in the hospital and had a mental break. And I just looked at her wide eyed and just figured that was it. It started when he was supposed to be in the class with me and I thought he was just skipping class to smoke cigarettes and play his guitar. But the feeling didn't pass, I finished out my dance class and went home and went to sleep.
The next day I woke up and went to school and still had that feeling of dread throughout the day, and when I got home from school my mom told me that one of my brother's friends had died. My brother is several years older than me and hadn't been home for a while so it didn't make much sense for me to have this feeling. It was my brother's birthday on March 16 so it could possibly explain the weird feelings I was having, but it still didn't pass.
The next day was a Friday, I was signed up to go on this catholic retreat thing that everyone older than I in my family had either worked on or had gone on, so it was now my turn to find out what this was all about. I went to school and actually felt better. I was called into the school counselor's office for some reason and I talked to her about what had been going on in my life. I complained mostly because that's what 16 year old girls are best at, and then on my free period I went off campus to McDonalds with my friends.
When we returned I ran into a friend of the family and smiled and said hi. I didn't think about how out of place she was at the high school when both of her sons had been out of high school and in college since before I even entered high school. She told me that she was sent to pick me up that my father was in the hospital, and I needed to grab my stuff and go. The feeling of dread was replaced by a whole number of emotions and these were actually tangible. My father had a stroke and I felt it coming for 3 days.
Since then I haven't had much of anything like that happen. From time to time I get that feeling but when nothing happens I let it go. Over the past couple of years things have changed, instead of getting that gut wrenching feeling I have these lucid train of thoughts that end up happening. For example New Year's eve 2005 I was baby sitting my niece and nephew so my parents could go out, my boyfriend came up from home and we drank some beer and played video games waiting for the ball to drop. As soon as the ball dropped and while we were doing the midnight make-out, I thought to myself the kids are going to start crying. Sure enough almost as soon as I was done with the thought, both kids started crying.
Another thing that happened that was kind of spooky and turned me off to just about anything "supernatural" was when I was living with my parents during the winter of 2005 through the spring of 2006. I worked in a camera shop and there was an on going joke that the store was cursed because everyone who worked there had bad things happen to them. One person had to have his gallbladder removed at 25. The manager of the store almost lost her house, one girl had chronic pain from a car accident she was in. One guy hurt his knee and another girl hurt her knee as she was coming into work one day.
While I was printing I made a joke to myself that nothing had happened to me and nobody had died yet I guess that is next. I laughed to myself and continued printing. A few days later I was up late watching tv and I went into this lucid trance-like state where I couldn't see what was going on on the television. I was in a room full of people and I knew it was awake and I knew it was for someone in my family. Everybody was dressed in black, men were in suits and ties. I then tried to think about who this was for, each name of someone in my family came up and each one I passively dismissed until I came to my brother Kallif. And that was it, I knew that it was his wake. Then the emotion that washed over me was strange, there was no sadness in my vision only comfort and happiness to see my family. Aunts Uncles cousins nieces nephews, friends neighbors, all there. As soon as the emotion came it left and I was back in my bedroom watching tv, eyes wide open, definitely not asleep.
I didn't think much of it because sometimes I disappear inside my head from time to time lost in my thoughts. I went to sleep and didn't think about it again until January 2 2006 after midnight when I answered a phone call.
My brother had died, and I felt that because of my reaction in my vision. How I actually looked forward to it somehow so I can see family I haven't seen in years. The only thing that I could think after hearing the news was that I made it happen. That somehow my optimism about it made it happen. If I had just felt some kind of pain while I was in my vision it wouldn't have happened. I now know that it couldn't possibly be my fault, but I do wonder sometimes.
Since then it's taken me a while to get back into the kinds of things that I used to be interested in, mostly spiritual. I haven't had any visions but I do see white lights now, or maybe I'm just noticing it now. They look like pinpoint lights that appear and disappear as quickly as it appeared, and they can show up any time of day or night. I saw one while I was in an interview for a job right above the girl's head. I wanted to say something to her but I didn't want to come off crazy so I kept it to myself. I ended up getting the job too. One time I was in the darkroom changing paper and I saw a pinpointed light at the exact moment I was thinking about my brother. Can anyone tell me what these lights mean for sure?
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