I am 38 years old and finally ready to accept that I may have some gifts that I would like to further develop. I feel as if I have a purpose and because I have ignored it my life is sort of off track. I was taught as a child that these gifts were evil and that further development would be an abomination. I no longer believe that but I am still learning to lose my fears. I have no idea where to begin and have no idea what I should be doing with it. I just know that it is time. I feel a calling, a universal pull. I have recently been told that my palm bares a very large mystic cross and was told by a psychic that I needed to further my development it was important, but I already knew that. I suppose it just helped confirm it for me. But I have no idea what to call this that I have. Here is some detail to what is going on. Sorry if this is long. I appreciate any help or insight you can give me. In advance-THANK YOU!
Dreams: From the time I was a child I have had psychic dreams. I can tell a psychic dream from a regular dream because the overall feel is different. I cannot always predict them right away but when something happens I can refer it back to a dream that I had and sometimes I can just downright predict something that is going to happen from my dreams. Before I have a psychic dream I become so exhausted that I have to sleep, this can also happen in the middle of the day.
Ghosts/Spirits: While awake, I can't see them but I can feel energies around me. I can't tell you where they are in a room, but I know they are there. Sometimes they touch me. I can feel a cold or hot presence on my body or they mess with my hair. Sometimes the hair on my arms will stand straight up (not from fear but from energy). When I was a teenager I had a spirit slap me across my face and when I was in my early twenties I had an entity pin me to my bed. Sometimes I have horrible dreams of demons. I can see the dead in my dreams, sometimes they have a reason to be there and other times they just hang out in the background... And I don't even have to know them all that well. I have predicted the death of my great grandmother in a dream and my grandmother (all though at the time I thought it was me) in one profound dream.
Visits to other plains: Twice I have been taken in my dreams to another place. I don't travel but am sort of morphed there... I can feel my soul being pulled from my body even though I am in a dream state. I believe it to be the place where we go when we die and are awaiting to be reborn. I went to the place (before my grandmother died) where my grandmother is now. In another visit to this place I was taken to a central area where a man showed me my life map. I have not been feeling too well and was concerned about my mortality and he showed me that I was in the middle of my lifespan.
Voices: After my grandmother passed away I could clearly hear her talking to someone else as she passed through my living room. I have also heard voices talking to me in my dreams as if they were talking to me through electricity. Just recently, I have heard these same types of electronic voices while I was very much awake although I can't quite make out what they are saying.
Smells: This is really recent. I have been picking up on weird sweet smells that will appear out of the blue and then leave.
Strangers/other people: People tell me all their problems. It has been an issue all of my life. I have had strangers come to me and tell me their problems. One lady even came to me one day and told me about an affair she was having on her husband. And always, always, when a stranger or new person enters into my life and tells me their problems they always tell me, "I have no idea why, but I felt like I needed to tell you this, I feel drawn to you." Sometimes I feel others ailments... Pains mostly and I will go to the doctor and nothing will be wrong with me. I also have a very good friend, whom I love, but I think she sucks the energy out of me. But as awful as it sounds, sometimes my teenage son sucks the energy out of me. I wonder if I put too much of myself into these relationships?
Touch: Sometimes I can pick something up (material things) and feel a very bad vibe to it. My whole body kind of goes numb. I don't ever pick up on good vibes just bad ones.
Intuition: is very strong. I can pick up when something is not right or somebody is not good or when someone is up to no good. I always know a liar.
Cats/Wolves: Ok I wasn't going to share but I think I will anyway. Be free to tell me if I need psychiatric help. Not that I think I am a cat or anything but cats seem to see through me-sometimes it scares me. Ever hear of the dog whisperer-yeah, well I feel like the cat whisperer. I can train cats, even wild ones and have no special training. I just have a very weird and special connection. And then in complete contradiction: I dream of wolves and seem connected to them as well but not physically-spiritually.
Elements: this is another weird one. Again, some of you may be ready to commit me. I feel like I can affect elements. I am a water sign and sometimes I can feel rain drops even when there is no rain or it is not possible to be raining. Usually when that happens, something bad happens. But then in contrast, I feel refreshed and renewed by the rain. I am creatively inspired with storms. The wind seems to blow with my mood and I feel very empowered when I stand barefoot in the grass and when it is cold outside. And then one time, when I was very angry at my ex after a phone call I walked into my bathroom yelling and one of the overhead lights on my mirror busted into a million pieces. That scared me more than anything else and that is when I decided that I needed to learn to calm down. That event led to my path off of Christianity and onto spirituality where I feel a deep connection with God and with angels.
So, I don't think I am crazy, but I could be? Can you help me put a name to what I have going on? Seems as if I have a connection with the other side-could I be a medium and just not realized my full potential? And how do I begin to further development without forcing it?
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