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Healer And In Search Of Someone

 

Hey there...I'm 22 and quite unsettled with what all has been happening to me. Like everyone, it all started when I was little, say about 8 or 9 years old. Since then it's been happening off and on, and I don't really know what to make of it.

First of all, I have this ability of healing people. I just have to concentrate my energy into my hands and place them over the affected area and their pain goes away after awhile. But then a strange thing started happening... The centre of my palms started turning black as though something burned right through them, so I stopped and sure enough that mark went away. I want to know if I was doing something wrong over there?

Secondly, I keep seeing shadows and hearing voices all the time. Well off and on actually. And when I don't see or hear anything, I kind of start panicking thinking there's something wrong with me. I'm so used to it! =S Now, I work as a Biomedical Engineer in a hospital and there's this workshop that I have to keep a tab on, situated in the basement and there's a morgue nearby. I dread goin' down there sometimes because its bloody cold and the voices are unbelievable! But that too, happens on certain occasions only. I have no idea why I keep 'switching' off and on like this!

Thirdly, since I was a kid, I have felt quite empty from the inside... As far as my memory takes me, I have always found myself in search of some lady... I have no clue who but I'm in a constant search... And sometimes there's this lady in my dreams. I know her as though my search is over but her face keeps changing! I know I sound really weird here and maybe this isn't even the right place to post this but I need some guidance about this...

Im quite intuitive as I constantly keep listening to my inner self but for some reason, I just can't meditate! I have tried contacting my spirit guide (who I still don't know) several times but I have just fallen off to sleep! =P

Basically I'm quite unnerved and feel like a person with no direction when I'm cut off from all this. I don't mind shadows and the whisperings and the other things that happen to me but they just keep coming and going. I need some guidance on what I should do to keep all this constant and maybe some help on the meditation too.

Thanks a lot for the attention you'll gave, there are other things that I'd like to discuss but maybe after I get all this cleared out. I believe everything has its time because believe it or not, this is the 6th time I have tried to post this up in about a month and a half!

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by psychic-experiences.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Maverick_aj, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

Maverick_aj (1 stories) (15 posts)
 
7 years ago (2011-03-21)
NaturalScience:

Whoa! I'm so sorry it took me this long to answer back. Just been on a weird hiatus... If you please.

Well yes, that voice, I can still hear it sometimes. But now, its more random, like it answers back instantly without a seconds delay, so I have to keep myself attuned and ready.

And yes, Anandahya did speak about that gift she has. For me, its more like an intuitive nudge about people. Sometimes, I instantly feel there's something not right about them but that's about it, and sometimes, I'm all calm and composed. But if you ask me whether I can tell you of their spiritual level, then no, that's something I haven't learnt as yet.
Faithless (23 posts)
 
7 years ago (2011-03-06)
I too have the healing power that works exactly the same way. I can heal wounds as well as negative thoughts this way. But sometimes electricity too gets driven to my palm, and I end up giving an electric shock to the person. Remember to be always full of positive energy; the healing will be most effective then.
NaturalScience (229 posts)
 
7 years ago (2011-02-08)
Hi Maverick greetings from the other end of the world again. Does the female voice still address you - that voice which came to you after your starting to worship Amba Ma?
Another poster here, AnandaHya from U.S., says that she can perceive the stage of development of the soul of persons she meets with. Do you have this gift too - and if yes can you use it also on a distance, about persons not physically present? I once was told the phone number of a woman who was said to be able to pray demons away so that mental illnesses get better - which really happened in a case that looked like "possession" for which I called her up, this was twenty years ago. This one surely could "read a soul" even on distance if she only knew the complete name of the person.
NaturalScience (229 posts)
+1
7 years ago (2010-12-19)
Whoah, Maverick, that's a hammer! I, a German ex Catholic, as unable to true meditation as you, was choosen by beloved Amba Anandarupa to help you back to Her and you even call me savior.
But what can I tell you about sadhna? Nothing beyond what I told you what Ma likes, for I believe in Work and Honesty and also (a little less, I must confess) in Prayer. But I never practised any yogic discipline.
In fact I hate to do anything that has to be performed in blind obedience or of which I do not grasp the purpose. I had lots of trouble when a kid for this direction of mind alone - I did nothing bad but I wanted a reason for every order of the adult people and this made some of them them see and treat me as contrary just for having fun in saying no, or even as mental. You can imagine how I was suffering.
What Work and Honesty are good for, I know. We all can grasp the fruit with our hands. Thus these must be the most important "sadhna" - at least to-day.
What prayers are good for, I can imagine; the results, being most of the time too indirect for registering them as coming from the prayer, will be laid open to me in the Beyond when I have died. When I was a kid I kept industriously praying for Spirits in Captivity, which I as a Catholic knew under the name of "Poor Souls". Hope I will meet, in the Beyond, with some souls I helped out of their jail by my Rosary-Counting (the Catholic kind of Japa). Later when I came to know of Haidakhan Babaji, however, I had lots of trouble with the immense amount of prayer - Japa, Chants and Arati ceremony - expected of his devotees. The more I thought "Oh G-d I MUST pray more otherwise Babaji is not contented" the less I could pray. I never became a good Babaji devotee in this aspect. Now I think it was God's Will thus. He, having made me as I am, accepts my work with hands and brains as prayer.
Thus, I think pray whenever you feel like it - and don't restrain it to the temple, or some other place, for God is Everywhere. Don't feel inferior if you are bored during long Services - just go to shorter poojahs and avoid what overtaxes you. Dont doubt your righteousness if you feel best praying without japa mala, without lotus posture or kneeling, without "full concentration", but just during your chores, as cleaning up the floor or taking tomatoes from your garden. This kind of prayer is as valid as any more formal method.
And what pranayamas and asanas are good for, I was partly told, and partly I made some experiences while practicing, very un-professionally and without any "regular discipline" (ugh!), a breath technique which probably has been adopted from the pranayama tradition. These experiences (during which also the thing happened more than once that is now known to me from books as kriya, I mean strange spontaneous yoga-like movements directed from the subconscious without using any will-power) paved the way for what happened in 1998 - see me on Spiri site.
Thus, sometimes one practices things known from yoga just out of one's own instinct, and sometimes a yogic teacher even can be a hindrance... And after all, asanas are of no major meaning for the spiritual path, though they are surely very good to raise one's fitness of body and brain.
So, that's all I know about sadhna.
Mel33 (38 posts)
 
7 years ago (2010-12-19)
Cool deal, but for now I am off to spend time with my kiddo. Later.
Rashidah (guest)
 
7 years ago (2010-12-19)
If ever you wish to exchange notes with me, be free to send an email.

I am more concentrating on studying Hindu deities these days for now. When I am ready I will put some more posts on my blog.
Mel33 (38 posts)
 
7 years ago (2010-12-19)
That's awesome, Rashida.

I'm currently doing research as well on Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism, and science. Primarily, physics. I've done some minor research on others, too, but those are the main ones I've been working on as of late. I don't have anything posted online yet. I have notes, but they're in my notebook. Actually, it's more of a rough draft.
Rashidah (guest)
 
7 years ago (2010-12-19)
ALL religions are interlinked my dear. You are absolutely right on that one. So are most of the deities.

I am doing research on this right now. So I am constantly updating my blog as a form of my private thoughts forming.

I am currently doing research on this deity.
Http://pulse.yahoo.com/_BBEU6MRXTXIAA25EWQSV6WCRV4/album/photos/293868

Http://pulse.yahoo.com/_BBEU6MRXTXIAA25EWQSV6WCRV4/album/photos/312594

My blog is still however under construction.
Mel33 (38 posts)
 
7 years ago (2010-12-19)
AnandaHya,

I won't say that I'm well versed in every religion. However, I do recognize from the research and studying that I've done how they are all similar to each other.
And yes, I do believe in the Mother Goddess and also that there are references to her in the Bible.
AnandaHya (guest)
+1
7 years ago (2010-12-18)
i didn't think I'd encounter skepticism here but you read the passages for yourself and tell me if you think "Wisdom" might be the equivalent to "Mother Goddess" energy in other religious traditions.

Proverbs Chapter 1 versus 20 until chapter 3 but I'll just post the highlights from the New King James Translation:

" Wisdom calls aloud outside: She raises her voice in the open squares... She speaks her words 'How long, you simple ones, will you love simplicity? For scorners delight in their scorning and fools hate knowledge. Turn at my rebuke: Surely I will pour out my spirit on you. I will make my words known to you." (blessing now the warning and curse) "Because I have called and you refused. Because you disdained all my counsel, and would have non of my rebuke. I also will laugh at your calamity. I will mock when your terror comes... Then they will call on me, but I will not answer. They will seek me diligently, but they will not find me. Because they hated knowledge and did not choose the fear of the Lord... Therefore they shall eat the fruit of their own way, and be filled to the full with their own fancies... For the turning away of the simple will slay them, and the complancency of fools will destroy them. But whoever listens to me will dwell safely, and will be secure without fear of evil... When wisdom enters your heart and knowledge is pleasant to your soul. Discretion will perserve you; understanding will keep you, to deliver you from the way of evil. From the man who speaks perverse things. From those who leave the path of uprightness. To walk in the ways of darkness. Who rejoice in doing evil and delight in te perversity of the wicked..." I'm just a student here learning her letters but it sounds a lot like descriptions of other religions to me. Give me a minute and I'll give you another holy book. Would you like the Bhavagahad gita, the Buddhist sutras, Hindu vedas, translated Koran, wiccan mysticism, sufi mysticism... I have friends in all of those walks that might be able to give you a quote, or perhaps someone in this community has one readily available
Mel33 (38 posts)
 
7 years ago (2010-12-18)
Yeah, I believe everyone has to find their own way as well. I just find it all highly fascinating the way religion, science, and spirituality connect with each other.
AnandaHya (guest)
 
7 years ago (2010-12-18)
lol I think everyone has to find their own way, some people just like to take the hard trek and some people turn about face and would perfer to live in their own homemade constructs. I prefer science to mysticism, the only thing is I've conducted experiments in the astral plane and its not so different from this one, just a different set of rules you have to learn. I'm enjoying this one right now (as my 2 year old daughter pokes at the computer with her spoon pretending I'm yogurt)
Mel33 (38 posts)
 
7 years ago (2010-12-18)
[at] Maverick
Yes, I am looking at religion as a whole, but I'm also comparing it to science for the people that have a harder time accepting the concept of God/the Ultimate. I'm not quite to the point to where I want to attempt explaining it, but I'm getting there.
Maverick_aj (1 stories) (15 posts)
 
7 years ago (2010-12-18)
[at] Mel33:
If I may, I'd like to add that if you're looking at all religions at a whole, the concept is for a soul to reach God, to be in His divine presence, but just in different ways, that's all. Religion is the path that one may or may not take and Spirituality just refines the path towards God or the Ultimate.
Rashidah (guest)
 
7 years ago (2010-12-18)
You make some excellent points there Mel. I did not read it like that though.

But I do believe in reincarnation myself.
Mel33 (38 posts)
 
7 years ago (2010-12-18)
Yes, Rashida
And I also believe that John chapter 3 is about reincarnation. Seriously, read over it again. It doesn't sound as if he's saying if you believe in me you are released from sin and when you die you automatically go to heaven. To me it sounds as though he's saying that if you believe you will be reborn again and again until your spirit is purified then you will enter the kingdom of heaven/be in the presence of God or reunite with the Ultimate, whatever you want to call it.
Rashidah (guest)
+1
7 years ago (2010-12-18)
I had this argument with a priest who denies that Jesus ever went to India.
I guess he is in denial because I told him that Jesus learnt a lot of things from Swamis, lamas and other Indian wise men. Some Hindus have a great respect for Jesus because of this.
Mel33 (38 posts)
 
7 years ago (2010-12-18)
Ok, I'm back again. This story and the comments are too interesting for me to stay away.
Has anyone read John chapter 3, lately? If not some of you guys may be interested in looking over it again. The Bible seems to be highly misunderstood by most Christians and non-Christians. You'd think this day and age we'd have a new understanding of it now with all that we know. Though, most Christians deny this, keep in mind while reading John chapter 3 that there are records of Jesus studying and spending time in India. When it talks of being born again of water and of the Spirit refer back to Genesis ch. 1 vs. 1. You could also think of water as a cleansing or as a woman's water breaking right before giving birth.
Rashidah (guest)
 
7 years ago (2010-12-18)
Pardon me please. But Islam and Judaism do not have what is called The Divine Mother. Even in christianity, only catholics have what is called The Divine Mother by attributing that term to The Virgin Mary. But this also is under some form of debate.

Rashidah
AnandaHya (guest)
 
7 years ago (2010-12-18)
christainity, judiasm and islam has what is being referred to as "the divine mother" in terms of "wisdom" and the "holy spirit" (which takes on male or female aspects if you have to attribute sex to it)

see references in psalms and proverbs, most refer to wisdom in the female context.
Maverick_aj (1 stories) (15 posts)
 
7 years ago (2010-12-18)
[at] Ashies:
That's a rather accurate way of putting across your feelings there. I respect 'em as I feel the exact same way... The flame, the void... But I just can't get rid of that feeling of emptiness, that void. It's a horrible feeling I've been struggling with for years now. Like I said, it goes back to when I was about 8 or 9. NaturalScience and Mel33 have been gracious enough to tell me two ways of lookin' at the situation, both of which I'll explore and then post up in due time.
The voice you're talkin' about is something I experience too... And even I too think that it's just me guiding myself... And ofcourse that voice helps me make my decisions and has saved me from alotta trouble, to be honest. But mostly it's a lady's voice... Started happening roughly after I'd started offering prayers to the Divine Mother (NaturalScience, please make a note of this).

[at] A5 and RookDygin:
The marks looked more like dark, healing bruises, circular in shape which didn't hurt when touched. The physical manifestation I believe in me, were those uncomfortable pains and aches in my upper back and shoulders that I'd acquire right after I'd heal someone. That happened for quite sometime, until it was all Ok after some things I tried out. The marks... No clue...
As for the sightings/voices, I can surely say, the time when I had the maximum number of sightings, I was at my most peaceful and happiest in my life... My room use to be filled with shadows walkin' all around as though they were at a station or platform... You know... They would walk in and out of my room through this door which actually opened up into a portico. It was pure madness at times. But now it happens only when I'm in the workshop down in the basement at the hospital (which is near the morgue btw), that too when I'm relaxed just enough to doze off. Otherwise, no way!

[at] PathR:
Thanks for sharing that with me. I'm interested in knowing how I could improve on my healing and if your mentor could guide me as well. I've heard of Pranic healing but like you said, that needs an experienced person and someone who can help you heal at the same time. Looking forward to hearing more from you. 😊
AnandaHya (guest)
 
7 years ago (2010-12-18)
it might be happening off and on for your own protection. Only the darkness tells you it doesn't exist, its easier to devour the gullible. If you invite a serial killer in for tea, what do you think will happen?
Maverick_aj (1 stories) (15 posts)
 
7 years ago (2010-12-18)
[at] NaturalScience:
You're an absolute saviour! I'm quite shocked but I must reveal that I do offer my prayers to the Divine Mother but off late my mind has been wandering off into the distance away from all this. As I'm from a country that is seated very deeply in its religious roots, anyone straying away from the normal is considered more or less an atheist (which isn't a tag you'd really relish). Not that my religion defines me (or anyone for that matter), but for us, its just considered an important aspect of our life. Your post has just put me back in my place and in complete awe of how things work and are connected in this world!
As for meditating on her, would you be referring to 'Sadhna'? That will take a lot on my part.
I'm quite interested to know my previous incarnations as She's someone I've always deeply admired and for some reason, what you said about me being overtaxed in a previous life is something that has been on my mind since quite some time now. But then again, I don't think I'd be able to do that on my own considering I can't even meditate properly... 😐
Hope to get this conversation to Stage 2. Stage 1 already underway as I've got this 'Divine Kick' from you... A person whose half way across the globe! 😲 But thanks alot. And I'll definitely try to send some healing energies to your side too... But If I cant... Well there's Someone already lookin' out for you. God Bless!
Maverick_aj (1 stories) (15 posts)
 
7 years ago (2010-12-18)
Hey guys... Thanks to all of y'all for being patient, reading up and giving me advice. I'd like to apologize for the delay... Was sick and trying to juggle work too.

Ok, here goes, one by one.

[at] Mel33:
Well, thank you for the link, will definitely check in and yes I do believe in reincarnation and I do know a li'l about twin flames as well. I'd be glad if you join in on the site... Maybe we could help each other out 😊

[at] bbdeathspark:
The burning could be due to a wrong technique or something. Dont take my word for it but I will agree to one thing that yes my hands would always feel uncomfortably warm when I'd heal someone. But for some reason I could never heal myself...

[at] sarah12375:
I kind of freaked out too when I read your story... Indeed quite similar. But I'm glad that I aint the only one goin' all bonkers all at once, tryin' to figure things out! Keep up with the postings if you like, maybe everyone helpin' me out here will give you your answers as well. God Bless! 😊

[at] Aqua:
Practice is essential in healing. I remember healing someone by mistake but then their pain just came back after awhile, and I was in tremendous pain myself... But all concentrated in upper back and shoulders! That kept happening until I tried something out and it worked! And I'll be glad to help you out with the healing stuff, well whatever I know. If interested you can mail me at ajceiston [at] hotmail.com And as for the biomed part of my life... Well we could discuss that too if you'd want! 😁
PathR (4 stories) (1245 posts)
 
7 years ago (2010-12-15)
Healing occurring off and on this is normal. When we gain understanding we can tap into the healing energy at any given time

Many deceased people do linger around their body before moving on.
This is can be seen with shadows, voices and sounds.
Some people whom died do not realize they passed because of overly strong medication is what I've seen working in a hospital for years as a healer. There are also other reasons they do not move on.

I agree with Moonstryke. This is not a person but a guardian or possibly Deity. My connection with the old ways has proved invaluable in healing. Additionally proof has proved the old ways hold stronger healing

One mentor I had was a lady whom practiced panic healing she was from India and did amazing work. She also taught me it is important to get healing as healer to ensure my own maintenance and gave me understanding of Pranic healing.

Meditation clears the mind emotions plus expands our capacity to wk in healing. You may wish to check into chants with eyes open or body positions which can replace a closed meditation.

Good journey
bbdeathspark (4 stories) (617 posts)
 
7 years ago (2010-12-15)
"How are you doing sense you healed yourself from that 'huge wound' you had. I'd also like to ask how did you manage to hurt yourself... Of course you do not have to answer that if you feel that question is to personel."

Oh, I'm fine now. And How I managed to hurt myself? Some guy was chasing me and I was running and I slipped, and something, I'm not sure left this huge scratch across my arm. I said I was going to the nurses office when I actually hid somewhere and tried healing it. To my surprise it started tingling and soon, most of it disappeared. The part that's left I can't heal though.
RookDygin (5 stories) (324 posts)
+2
7 years ago (2010-12-15)
Maverick,

I have to agree with some of the other posters... You seem to be 'seeking' after a 'missing piece' of yourself... This could be either your 'soul mate' or purhaps the Divine Mother, only you will know for sure when you have found her (them).

As far as the marks of the palms of your hands... Were they more like brusies and less like burns? Either way it may have been a physical manifestation of the 'sickness / pain ' being removed from the other persons body... It had to go somewhere to be 'dispersed' and in your case it showed up as these marks on the palms of your hands.

As far as the 'voices and shadows' go. You seem to be sensitive to the spirit world... You can 'hear/see them... Though from what you described this 'ability' comes and goes... Let me ask this... Does it happen more when you have had enough sleep or when your working that 16th hour and are 'dead' (no pun intended) on your feet? Either way could indicate how to best proceed if you want to learn how to control this. Please update us and ask any questions you may have.

Now if you'll excuse me for a moment...

Bbdeathspark,

I'll save you a trip to the book store... Though I should make you look things like this up, but we are here to help others so here is a 'quick definition' for you.

The Divine Mother is the feminine aspect of the God. In one sense God is beyond both Male and Female, but it can be said that God has different aspects and different manifestations. The Divine Mother is associated with the qualities of compassion and forgiveness. It is said that it is easier to please the Divine Mother than it is to please the masculine aspect of God.

The Divine Mother plays a prominent role in Eastern religions, especially Hinduism. Christianity does not place so much emphasis on the female aspect of God, although some venerate highly the Virgin Mary and see this as an aspect of God.

I also feel Compelled to ask,

How are you doing sense you healed yourself from that 'huge wound' you had. I'd also like to ask how did you manage to hurt yourself... Of course you do not have to answer that if you feel that question is to personel.

Respectfully,

Rook
MoonStryke (guest)
+1
7 years ago (2010-12-14)
bbdeathspark-
The Divine Mother is the Goddess. She goes by many different names, and has many different faces.
Next time you go to a bookstore, try to find Maiden Mother Crone by D.J. Conway. It's a short, but very informative book on the various mythologies and cultural views of the Goddess.
A5 (2 stories) (144 posts)
 
7 years ago (2010-12-14)
Were the marks in any certain shape? That would mean something but I'm not sure what. If it didn't hurt, I might've tried healing again. That seems a useful talent and especially with the medical involvement.
I see shadows and hear things also, but as you said it's on and off. Unless one makes a move to hurt you, try to talk to them.
As for the looking for someone and the emptiness, all I can say is when you find the lady talk to her. Don't doubt yourself. I was looking for someone I think, and I did find that person, who is to me pure joy.
I hope you find the lady.
~A5
bbdeathspark (4 stories) (617 posts)
 
7 years ago (2010-12-14)
Natural Science: Who exactly IS the divine mother? O_o. Are you talking about some major spirit or something...? O_O 😕

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