Super natural isn't what I would like to refer to me or anyone else as, for the simple fact it is our true nature. Though as each generation passes it becomes less common and we are seen as delusional people. Society has changed deeply, even to the point I cannot tell any of my loved ones about the biggest part of me.
Though I still am not sure exactly what I am. My mother for reasons I don't know will resist telling me about her family, all I know is that I'm Mexican and Native American. Just like her mother though, evil was attracted to her and soon she became attracted to evil. My father is a very religious preacher maybe that's why he's the black sheep of his odd family. Nearly everyone on my father's side have the same cruel tendency of emotionally abusing their loved ones, and taking pleasure in other's negativities. I know this feeling because I have felt it before; it's much like a bad habit that gives satisfaction. Overall none can compare to my grandfather who has lived in the same old house near the eerie creek for decades now. At night he is a different person, angry for no reason so much anger they used to tie him to a chair to calm him down because he had even tried killing his own kids, including me when I was still in my mother. They found nothing mentally wrong with him, but he does not try to kill anyone anymore he's converted to breaking objects and locking himself inside the house.
Since I was a child I always felt like something wanted to harm my dad and I never left him alone even when he was napping I would be there to make sure nothing touched him. It wasn't until I hit double digits that I started getting visions. I thought it was simply imagination so I forget about it, until I saw it come to life and remembered seeing it before. Soon enough I felt like I was being followed, I was so sick of being scared so I stopped believing in Jesus and felt it go away. I quickly sank into the bad life of doing drugs, until the worst day of my life came. Out of nowhere I woke with the sickness called vertigo (unbalanced equilibrium). But I myself didn't feel unbalanced, but as though the world itself was moving a different way as though something was terribly wrong. It lasted three days and I was never the same.
As soon as I became pure again physically and mentally my visions had changed. They didn't come to me anymore, but simply by letting my mind perfectly visualize something through my eyes that could happen... Did happen. To this day I'm still very scared of this and try to refrain my mind from creating visions. Not only does this kind of power scare me, but I'm always afraid of dark thoughts coming into image. Though I can assure you I'm not evil at all I love and care about everyone including people who do terrible things, even if they will never understand me I always help people emotionally because no matter what I love people, and hate to see them in pain. My biggest current goal is to find some kind of teacher for answers, for I can't explain my obsession with ancient Egypt or why it keeps attracting my curiosity, and also why the number 3 has been showing up vividly to me. I've tried learning in a delta state of mind but just end up quickly losing vital information.
This is basically my life story, but I must say I do not see life the way many others do. I frown upon the materialistic world, and fear for mankind's existence, and hope to meet others who see things the way I do. Thank you for reading, and I would greatly appreciate any help.
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