I'm not quite sure where to begin except to say that I am very confused and would like to know what I am. Many women in my family seem to share my experiences but not as severe as mine.
Since I was very young I have had spiritual/psychic experiences, although for quite a long time I chalked it up to child hood fears and insecurities. As I got older however, I grew more concerned that I wasn't quite as crazy as I feared.
As a child in my old house, I was afraid for years to sleep in my bedroom for one key reason: the figure in my doorway. It was a dark shadow (which I have been told was a bad sign that I was able to see its color), that would lurk in my doorway everynight until the last possible chance when dawn finally approached. The figure never entered my room, and believe it is because I never gave it permission to dwell there. I never explained the reason to my parents as to why I refused to sleep in my room, and so until the day we moved (I was 12 at the time) I slept with my parents.
I now live in a home that is in a neighborhood right next to the U.S. Border and is famous for not only its hauntings, but for the fact that many slaves came to Canada to seek freedom there. As I got older, my "gifts" as my family now refers to them, grew. Houses whose history I knew nothing about would send me into anxiety attacks simply by entering a room, filling me with uncontrolled emotions whose sudden appearance I couldn't explain (rage,depression,fear). People I knew nothing about would shake my hand and I would immediately know whether they were trustworthy or not (this may seem eccentric but to this day, I have never been wrong concerning my first impression of someone).
Within the past four years my experiences have grown further, and it now frightens me. I know nothing of the history of my home, and have been able to find none despite my research. On three separate incidents, a spirit/s have physically come in contact with me, and one incident in particular scared me in a very troubling way.
The first incident, I was sitting in my rec room watching television when "something", (to this day I'm still puzzled by this), grabbed my hair which was up in a ponytail and pulled it to the point that my head was jerked roughly to the side causing pain to my neck.
The second incident, I was sitting in a chair in my living room talking to my father. As a lull occurred during our situation, my father felt the hairs stand up on the back of his neck, and as he turned to tell me this he witnessed as I sat horrified and unmoving in my chair. What my father did not realize was that I felt someone I could not see standing over me with both of their hands gripping my shoulders. The horror I felt at that moment was indescribable, I had never felt anything like it before. My father then knelt in front of me to see what was wrong, and as he did I felt the pressure lift off of my shoulders and I began to sob uncontrollably.
The third incident was by far the most upsetting for me, but my memory of it is as clear as day. One night whilst sitting in my room at my desk, I felt a cold chill enter the room. Being that it was in May I found this unusual and whilst I was still seated, I turned in my chair to face my doorway; and that is when I saw him. Never had I had an experience as powerful as this until that moment, where I could see a spirit as clear as day in front of me. Unsure of what to do I attempted to get out of my chair, only to find I couldn't stand up. My legs felt like lead; an indescribable pressure filled my head and my arms felt so weak I could barely flex my wrists, and at that moment I knew he was the one keeping me in my chair. As he stood over me, I scrambled within my mind to think of what to say or do, but before I could do anything he spoke to me. He claimed I was his daughter, and that because he knew I was in danger he had to be there to protect me. I was stunned; this man wasn't my father, and I could tell from the anger in his voice he was determined to say. I could feel myself shaking with fear as I told him to move on, that I wasn't his daughter and that he could not stay in my home. For half an hour I struggled to will him to leave, and to my relief he left, never to return again.
Since then I haven't had an experience as serious as this, I have only been able to hear or feel emotions coming from spirits trying to contact me. I don't know what to do, what I am or how to control it, all I know is I'm lost. Can someone please help me?
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