Since I wrote my story about the connection I have with my partner things have been happening that are scaring me a little.
I can't remember exactly what I was doing but I think I was watching something on youtube. It was about people who are claircognizance. I already knew I was empathic but when I was watching this something said to me (in my head) "This is what you have, this is what you should be working on. That's how you write your stories!" My stories being these kid stories I write but don't. It's kind of like I'm reading it for the first time too, excited to find out what happens next, instead of coming up with an idea and then writing it out.
Anyway I decided to read up about it and it all made sense. I then came across Automatic Writing and figured that must be how I've been writing my stories. I was a bit confused because my stories are make believe. Talking animals (mostly mythical animals) and magical places are in my stories so they don't mean anything. A voice (once again in my head) told me "Oh really? Go back and read what you've written". So I went through all of my stories and was shocked to see things I've written. While most of it is make believe there is actually a lot of scenarios that have happened to me in real life. So I decided to use my shield (the white light) and I also read to see a funnel like thing above your head. I did this and opened word and started writing. I wrote about being careful of drinking, to stabilize. My mother just came off her anti-depressants and is a recovering drug addict. She rang me the next day and told me she's been really wanting to go out and buy some wine or something because she feels weird having a clear head. This freaked me out because I thought the message was for me. I told her what I wrote and she said she'd actually just been back from her therapy session and found it was her addiction trying to switch up.
Then I was told I can actually see things and hear things but I need to meditate more often. I did this and at first I saw a man dressed in black, he looked friendly. We met on a bridge over a busy motorway when it was almost night time. He flew me off to a sewing factory and told me I used to do this. Then he took me to a garden playing around with a little boy and told me I didn't make it to 9 years old. THEN he started showing me my mother and father in coffins! I was scared and figured this man wasn't really a guide like he said he was. I didn't meditate for a few days after that.
Then I decided to read about past lives. I read something about putting yourself in a hypnotic like state. So that night I tried doing this. Suddenly I was seeing faces and hearing things, like people right close to me talking to me. Some were yelling, some were just talking but I could feel the presence of things. I felt like at any moment I would clearly hear them as I do 'real' people. All of a sudden my body felt like it was somersaulting backwards! I had no control and it was hard to get out of it. I knew my body was still and laying down, safely, but at the same time I was falling somewhere. I thought maybe it was an O.B.E but I was falling DOWN not UP. I kept sitting up and opening my eyes to get myself back, like I do after a meditation, but each time I lay back down it would happen again. This went on 'til 5am. I had shielded myself and even prayed before I did all of this so surely it wasn't an attack. Also with the voices, I actually heard my name being called while I was in my room and it was out loud, like a normal person, but at the same time it was in my head, which confused me. And I had an image in my head of who it was (I don't know who it was).
To top it all off me and my partner, that was in my last story, seem to be more connected than ever. He's the main reason I've been doing all of this, to see why we are where we are and where we've been. But I wasn't expecting our connection to grow. I just have to think about him and he will text me from work. We were talking the other night and we were both watching the exact same 95 VMA video on the same day. Our bond in general has grown stronger which is confusing because I thought we were losing it. In one of my Automatic Writing moments as well as a time I meditated I kept getting "You don't have to wait for me too much longer, I'm coming, I'm falling into you" I also kept writing that he's being cleansed and going through his own healing. That he's chipping away at his own blocks and is having an 'awakening'. I got something about puzzle pieces just needing to find their places and something about time space continuum. This was all in relation to him being distant but feeling like we had a connection and that I needed to hold on, not leave. This was all just before it felt like we were more connected together and our bond seemed to get stronger so I don't think it was wishful thinking.
Does anyone know what's going on? Am I doing something wrong or dangerous or have I just tapped into something I was SUPPOSED to tap into and it's unfolding faster than I expected? Am I protecting myself properly? Any advice would be very much appreciated! I just have no idea what's going on or what to do.
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