I woke up yesterday morning and felt kind of down all day, just a dread in my stomach. I even thought to myself a couple times something bad is coming. I have been through postpartum and I immediately got anxiety That my depression was coming back or I was having an episode. As usual when I have a bad day I just tried to ignore it. ALL DAY! Very hard to do and very tiring. We were staying at a cousins house for the day letting our daughter play with all of her cousins.
We went home around 5-6pm and I let the dog outside to go potty. Maybe 10 minutes later I went to the back door to let her back in and I heard lots of sirens (ambulance, cops). Not unusual in our neighborhood. It's not the safest which is why we have been trying too hard to move since we now have a toddler and she wants to play outside all the time.
A little bit later I got on Facebook and was scrolling through the news-feed. I see a headline on the local news that says someone has been shot right up the street from us. Actually about 5 blocks. I got on map-quest and searched the address they gave. It was the park that we take our daughter too! I was horrified. Again, not unusual but 630pm at a local park is scary, kids play, families walk, there is a tennis court and a baseball diamond. But late at night when we drive by we see lots of suspicious cars and always joked that it was drug deals and or a place people take prostitutes. Bad things don't happen there during the day. It's very unnerving.
Adding this news to my already wrecked mind for the day I become frantic. Just knowing this is bad. Really bad. Time goes on and the news updates little by little. First its a "young man" and the hospital is on lock-down. He is in critical condition. Late that night, I check again and see his name is released. I don't recognize it at all. He was 18 and accepted to a very prestigious college for pharmacy. My heart broke. What in the hell was he doing there? He was a good kid. He was smart and obviously did not deserve this. He was shot, multiple times, in the head.
I'm sick and I'm still sick and I cannot get this man out of my head. I have this terrible feeling still in my gut and my heart. I have never felt this feeling. I don't know what's going on? Anyway, I had to go to the store this morning and I decide to go the other way and drive by this park. There is a cop car and news crews. Nothing else. No obvious signs that someone was just murdered. But the feeling that overcame my chest and stomach was unreal. It was like I felt the pain of the family, the pure senseless acts and I have never felt this feeling before in my life. And it scares me to death!
I go home and can't get it off my mind. What is going on with me!? Later on in the day I see a cop car outside caddy corner from us. He sat there for 1/2 hour never getting out of the squad car. I'm so curious and can't help but wonder if its connected to the murder. I finally go to my husband and tell him my feelings and what I have been going through. He thinks it's because it happened to close to home it just is scary. (About a year ago 2 masked men walked into a home up the block and broke in put a gun to a 2 year old head) Like I said things like this is not unusual in our neighborhood. But this is different. I can't explain it.
We leave later on and go to look at a house with a realtor. When we come home there are three more squad cars down the street at this house. I don't know why they were there and they left soon after and so did 3 other cars from the house.
My mom has had feelings before where she sees someone and knows they are going to die soon or she saw an accident before it happened. I called her tonight and told her what was going on. She thinks I am picking up on someone's negativity or maybe something else. She doesn't know and I don't know but it has been over 24hours and I can't get this feeling out of my stomach, head and heart. I don't know where to go. I don't know how to Google this and find a solution. I am looking for anyone who has any input or what can I do to stop this or help someone. I am not having any psychic visions or names of people or predictions. I just have this horrible feeling overcoming my body and it will not leave! I'm scared.
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