First I'll begin with the experiences that I've had over my lifetime. As a child I went to a neighbors house to play, and sensed that the intentions of the child I was playing with were to do something harmful to me. I don't know that it was a real psychic experience, but I had a very strong sense of something evil.
I went to a cousins house for Christmas. My cousin got a train set. I dreamed that I was playing with the train set. The next morning my cousin was very mad that I had been playing with his train set in the middle of the night. He swore that he saw me playing with his train set in the middle of the night. I had no conscious memory of waking up or physically playing with his train set.
I was with a friend, and he asked me to guess what card he had in his hand. I guessed at least partly correct 13 times in a row. He stopped after that because it scared him.
I woke up one night and felt like I had just dropped out of the air back down onto my bed, like I had been up in the air. There have been times when I woke up on my back, with my body very straight, and my arms crossed over my chest. I never sleep on my back, and it's a very strange position for me to be sleeping in.
Once I was sleeping, and suddenly became conscious, but still asleep. I felt a ball of energy inside of me, it seemed harmless and neutral, but it was there without my knowledge and without me asking for it. I considered it an unwanted intrusion. In my spirit I suddenly grabbed the ball of energy and tried to hold it. It struggled, squirmed and got away from me by shifting its shape and slipping out from my grasp. I was angry that something was influencing me without my conscious knowledge and told God I never wanted any spirit entering me again.
I was at a family gathering at a restaurant, at the salad bar. An aunt and I were the only ones at the salad bar. Suddenly I knew she was going to die. 2 days later she died of a stroke. I never said anything to her. I didn't know what I was supposed to do with this knowledge.
There was a family gathering at the house. Everyone was in the dining room. I walked from the living room, through the dining room and into the kitchen. I knew that someone in that room was going to die. I went into the kitchen and prayed about what I was supposed to do. I felt no reason to say anything. I thought my grandmother was going to die. The next day someone in the room had an abortion.
I was walking through a cemetery and felt like some evil spirit was trying to take control of me. I did say anything, but had to really put a lot of energy and will power into resisting.
I watched a horror movie at a friend's house, and that night felt like I had to really fight to keep bad thoughts out of my mind. I don't know that it was psychic, but I feel like I'm sensitive to thoughts and images influencing my mind.
Now comes the really embarrassing and troubling problem. I feel like I can project my sexual thoughts to people I know. I once had sexual thoughts about a friend's wife, and a few days later he said to me that he didn't know how I did that, but if I did it again, he would kill me.
I didn't ask for any of this. If I do have some kind of psychic powers I don't see any real use for them as I have experienced them.
My life is very frustrating and I have a lot of anger inside of me. My concern is unintended consequences on innocent people. I'm really very angry that God seems to be keeping us in state of being influenced and affected by these things, but we are in a state of struggling to understand and know what is going on. It's like doing an experiment on a rat, and the rat has no idea what is being done to it. I have no idea how these experiences came to be, what it means, where the power or ability comes from or what can be done about it or with it. So I feel like knowledge is intentionally being withheld from me and I'm intentionally being kept in ignorance.
I'm looking for answers.
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