This is the first time I've told anyone other than my best friend about any of this, so if it's jumbled, please forgive me.
I was born to a wiccan family. I was born in Germany, and my father's mother didn't really approve of my birth. So my father decided it was best to move. We came to settle in West Virginia. Well, my father's mom was into some bad things and would harass me as a child, through astral projection. You may ask how I know this and to be honest it's the only way its plausible.
When we left Germany, my grandmother stayed there, and I was only 2 years old. So, when I described what I thought was a ghost to my father 3 years later, he found a picture, and I confirmed that was the woman I saw. He called her and threatened her and it stopped.
Now that that is out of the way, I need to tell more on my "condition ". Ever since I was a kid, probably around 8 years old, I noticed myself saying to my parents "I had a dream this would happen " or "I think I did this before. " my dad would just tell me, it's special, to be able to do that. My mom ignored it. I noticed when I was in school, I was really "sad, " and didn't know why and I could walk into the house, and I would become mad or depressed and not know, that while I was in school, that my parents had had arguments.
I became enamored in Wicca, when I got into high school, and talked to my dad about it. He told me that "everyone has special abilities, just some of us ignore them." And that "since your Grandpas mom was a full blooded Cherokee Indian and your grandma's line was always wiccan, it's more prominent in you " and I tried more to develop my "powers "
Now, it's current day. I went through three suicide attempts, lost my fiancé, and I'm going through bouts of depression that are so bad, I feel like I'm going insane. I feel like I absorb or pick up and become the emotions of the area I'm in. I don't know if that makes sense but to me it does. I can he honest that for a while I was addicted to alcohol and drugs, as I became a practicing satanist (I no longer practice, drink or partake in any drugs) but now that I'm clean, things are getting bad for me. I'm dreaming of things that do come true, but usually they're very bad things (deaths, accidents, injuries) and I'm becoming depressed again, (severely I may add) because I deal with many people a day. (Because of my job and my gym routine)
Is there anything that I can do to stop it, or am I crazy? I don't want to "hone it " as my father told me, because I feel that it's ruining my life. What can I do?
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