I'm in my thirties, grew up in a home where religion didn't exist or was not talked about however have family that was and may still be very spiritually connected. Starting in my childhood I began to feel others emotions and silently knew what was wrong with them. The only person I felt comfortable talking to about this stuff died before she would allow me to dabble in tarot and meditation. This person, my aunt would however calm my nerves and soothe my fears more effectively than my own mother, whom did also dabble with readings, tarot and meditation. Since my childhood I have blocked out a lot and never elaborated on anything I did experience. Beginning in April 2011 when a friend of mine vanished suddenly and I reconnected with her family I have been an emotional wreck. I would sit and read and clear my head at night without experiencing anything for some time. One night in late May of last year I felt a presence, like a weight in the air around me. The night was warm and air was humid but this was a different weight. I felt the hair on my neck raise and then a cold chill from my left shoulder to my left foot. It happened one more time before I started talking aloud. I asked who was with me and if I am in danger. No chills. I asked if it was my friend "Jamie", my aunt or anyone I knew. I got the chills again. So I asked again question by question and each answer I expected to get a yes came with a chill. I determined, regretfully that it was not my aunt. I feel in my heart this was "Jamie" visiting me and I also feel very strongly this incident happened shortly after her death. Later in the year her remains were found and she had been deceased for months. Before her remains were found I had that experience again. This time I asked more questions, answers I knew she alive would know and some she wouldn't have. I asked some hard questions, as in scenarios surrounding her death and names associated to her disappearance, I didn't get much but when I surrendered to the weight in the air I felt an overwhelming feeling of euphoria from my head to toes, a relaxing blanket of sort. I said some more and then it was gone.
Every month or so this year (2012) I have had similar experiences, chills, euphoria, flickering lights and seeing animals in my area that I have never seen and haven't seen since. Also, I have started meditating the best I know how, and frankly I'm scared of negative and dark entities and spirits. I want to contact her or whomever else is trying to contact me. How do I? I do also want to note that I have lucid dreams in which Jamie is in and deceased in. How do I do this, is it what I'm thinking it is or am I way off track? Any suggestions for books would be great, I'm gathering that I would be considered an empath. Help!
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