I am a shy and quiet person and very much enjoy my own company and solitude. I tend to dislike people and have only a handful of people that I can actually call friends. Affection and emotion isn't something that comes naturally to me and I tend to be happiest when on my own or in a small crowd. I was recently told that I may be an empath. I had never heard of this before and the more I read up on it the more confused I become. I think I may just have very acute powers of deduction (like Sherlock) but I have experienced the following:
I tend to generally know how someone feels, but unlike an empath I don't feel it as if I were that person. I just feel it. And have done from a very young age. When I was 8 my grandfather died, I told my Mum that my grandmother was waiting to die and 5 months later she died from a broken heart, emotionally and physically speaking (she had angina) From a very young age I would often become distressed at movies or TV shows especially if they involved animals. Dumbo for instance still makes me rather hysterical as I can feel how upset I was watching it when I was 5 years old all over again. I also have the ability to know what someone is thinking (or roughly.) A word or a colour or a name will flash in my head and if I were to ask the person next to me if that meant anything to them then often they would say yes. They tended to be thinking about something to do with the word etc that flashed in my head.
The main thing though, which I experience is dreams. I regularly dream about things that are real. The dreams are often distressing and I usually hate going to sleep. Examples include:
When I was 15 I was awoken around 3am to the sound of running water. Whenever I moved towards the source of the sound it would seem to get further away. I for instance checked the bathroom and kitchen taps but found them all to be completely off. I woke the next morning to find out that a close flat mate had died by drowning.
My grandfather when in the early stages of dementia used to become distressed when he realized that his Mum was dead (she had been dead for almost 60 years). He wanted my Mum to take him to her grave but my Mum didn't know the exact location of her grave. Later that week I dreamt where the headstone was and on accompanying my Mum to the cemetery led them both straight to it. I have never been there before. In my dream I was calm and quite peaceful.
The most upsetting dream I had was when I was living in New Zealand. A beautiful darling baby had gone missing from her back garden. People thought she had been snatched. After a few days of her messing I dreamt that she was somewhere cold and wet and woke the next day to hear on the news that her wee body had been found in a storm drain. I was devastated and overcome with grief.
These are just few examples and to me they do seem rather coincidental. Or is that just the skeptic in me saying don't believe it?
Your thoughts, wisdom and guidance would be very much appreciated.
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