Since posting my last topic, I feel I've gotten more in touch my my spiritual side and more in control of it. I'm confident of my abilities and things that used to scare me don't anymore. But then I realized this makes a bigger target. Demon's really only bother those who would be a danger to them or their goals.
I had been feeling down recently, always tired and negative, until I realized it was a minor demon targeting me and trying to sway me from my path. When I realized this and was planning to get rid of it, it resorted to trying to scare me by scratching me. It didn't.
All it managed to do was make me scoff at it's attempts and read the word of God to scare it back to the depths of hell. And it worked. It was gone.
But then a stronger demon came, this time an incubus. I was in that half asleep, half awake haze when I noticed someone walking around my bed. I couldn't see them but assumed someone had come in to close my window; it was cold that night. I closed my eyes and attempted to go back to sleep.
You have to realize, when I was in this state, it was all a haze, I had no concept of right or wrong, only what felt good. And the things he was doing... It felt good. I feel like they sent a incubus because they knew I was a virgin, and that any touch of sensation would be overly so. They knew my weak point, I was desperate for the touch of a lover.
This wasn't a dream, because I had consciousness of the room around me. The incubus even had enough force to move my arms and legs where it wanted. And at one point I remember the blanket hovering above me before tightly wrapping around my chest.
This is actually quite embarrassing to write about, but I feel I should talk to someone about it, and not give into it or the things it does. And it's hard because I'm the type of person who craves touch, and not just the sexual kind.
It's like they're fighting for control of my soul, and sometimes it's hard to resist when it's such a sweet temptation. Even as I write this I can feel my stomach get sick and a slight pressure on my throat.
It's especially hard because I'm a medium, and at times it's hard to fight when a spirit wants to influence my body. Whenever a spirit connects with me it's like I go into a haze, my inner eyes goes crazy and my body thrums with energy. It's kind of like I get high off of the energy.
I'll have to get away from my room and the energy to recoup. The flow of energy is too addicting.
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