I Have Never Been Normal

I'm Katie. Just a normal teenager, or so I thought until very recently. Weird things have been happening to me lately. If you have answers, advice, anything, I would be so grateful.

Well, I'll just jump in (I'll start with a few things that have been going on for awhile before I get to what made me come looking for help).

First, a few things you should know about me; I have never been 'normal' in any way, shape, or form. I have always been unique, never fitting in at school or otherwise. I have never been skinny, popular, or any of that crap. I was bullied horrendously in actual school (I dropped out of normal school this past year due to bullying, I now attend online schooling). I have suffered Anxiety and Depression for a pretty long time. I don't cut or anything (Yet), but I have very strange thoughts of violence (that I am now suspecting to be from another 'person'). I have considered suicide. I considered it all fairly normal, though; not what I'm starting to think I is.

For as long as I can remember, I have had a strange effect on electronics. Occasionally, when I would walk/drive under a street light, It would flicker (and in some cases go out completely). A lot of it depends on my mood, however. When using my phone if I am having strong emotions (i.e. Very Angry or Very Excited, anxious), My phone will completely turn off. The same Goes with the television, computer, and other electronics. It is not uncommon for me to pass by a lamp in my home and have it short out. I never really suspected anything until recently, however, as these acts are becoming more and more frequent. (I am starting to wonder if I am a Slider.)

Since I was about 8 years old, I've sometimes experienced Synesthesia. In my case, I see colors when hearing certain sounds. I'm not sure this has to do with being Psychic, but I figured it was worth mentioning. It is not constant, but I occasionally see colors when listening to music. Sometimes when Experiencing Severe pain (Physically or Emotionally) I usually see Orange Circles.

Then, something Fairly major happened that I consider the start of my Psychic path.

About a year and a half ago, on a beautiful summer afternoon, I was sitting outside in my backyard, just listening to the birds, thinking about life. In myself reflection, I heard a little voice in my head: "hey, will you move?" I looked around, a little baffled. "You're sitting on my patch." I turned around to find a rabbit. I looked at this fluffy little bunny that was just. Staring at me. I really didn't know what to think. I felt like I was in the middle of Alice in Wonderland or something. "What, can you not understand English?" The rabbit was just sitting there. I looked around again, to make sure it couldn't be anyone else. Heck, I was even home alone at the time. I knew it had to be this. Animal, sitting in front of me, here and now. "Um, Hi. Are you talking to me?" I had said while feeling like an Idiot. It didn't respond. I thought to myself, you're talking to a rabbit. Chill. You're just tired. I turned around, and then it spoke again: "Well Yeah. That's how communication works. Now are you going to move?" I spun around, gaping. I was very compelled to move for this little guy. So I got up and took a few steps back, still looking at the rabbit. "Thanks." Slowly but surely, the little rabbit inched forward before laying down. In the EXACT spot I had just been sitting, moments ago. Needless to say, I was a little freaked out, so I ran back inside. Only, Of course, to be greeted by my dog. "Hi!" My little Border-Collie Chirped in my head. At this point, I was sure I was going insane. I plugged my ears and Ran up to my room. "Why are you in such a hurry?" Muttered my cat as I passed him on the stairs. I let a little shriek escape my lips. I ran into my room and slammed the door; Thank god my Beta Fish had nothing to say.

I sat on my bed. I was actually crying slightly. Freaked out of my mind, to say the least. Peeking out of my bedroom window, the Rabbit was still laying there. I ducked down and put my head in my hands, Beside myself. I wasn't sure what was happening to me.

Then, Of course, at the worst possible moment, she made her first appearance. Rachel. (I was unsure exactly what she was when she first appeared, and why she has continued to torture me. I am now thinking she is my demon, hell-bent on breaking me. And also, Rachel is just what I call her, since she never told me her name.) Her form flickered in the doorway of my room, and there she was: This tall translucent figure with long red hair, her red eyes boring into my blue ones. Needless to say, I screamed, thinking there was a murderer in my room. Then I realized I could see through her. I remember thinking, 'Is she a ghost?' I was Aghast. As my eyes raked up and down her, I realized she looked like what I wanted to be. A slim, Perfect Body, A perfect face, long red hair, and no freckles. She was dressed in a skin-tight black suit. I looked past her into my full ceiling-to-floor mirror, looking at myself. Me, and my Round Chubby Body, Crap Brown hair, those ugly freckles on that nasty face. Then my eyes fell back on the thing in my room. She is exactly how I thought of myself, if I were to look beautiful, minus the red eyes. The red eyes she wore stared at me, and I realized she probably wasn't here to help me.

Then, Just as I had gotten enough nerve to speak, she vanished. Her Red eyes seemed to linger, but I knew she had gone. I was left alone, on the floor of my bedroom, Unsure of what to do next.

Days passed. Of course I told no one of what happened. I was too afraid of being sent to a mental institute. Instead, I went on like normal. My cat and dog still spoke to me, but I never replied. I thought it was my imagination, just ruling myself out as crazy. I was doing constant research online, entering things into Google such as 'What does it mean when you can hear animals' and 'Ghost in my room?'. Of course, all I really found on ghosts was old legends that didn't help my case. As far as Animal Talk, though. I really didn't get any results. Some of the things I read talked about being Psychic. Of course I ruled that out as impossible, moving on.

About a week later, Rachel made another appearance. This time, it was in a dream. At least, I hope it was a dream. Lying in bed, I remember opening my eyes to seeing her red eyes staring down at me. She then put a hand over my eyes, and I was then forced to watch and relive my worst memories - The Day my Grandma died. My Cousin (Who was way more like a brother to me, since I am an only child) moving away. And other horrible things I won't get into. Then, after reliving my horrible past, She brought some of my worst fears to life: I saw her, this girl who now had her hand over my eyes, slaughtering my parents. I watched my home burn, and I watched everything go into havoc.

Then, Rachel removed her hand. I was brought back to reality, her just staring at me. Then, She did something Unexpected - She Jumped onto me, and she slipped away inside me. (I have never seen her in her physical form since. I have been lead to believe she now lives within me.) I then woke up for real. Or, became conscious? I still don't know. All I know is it was very real. The pain and horror of my fears and memories fresh in my mind, and a feeling of an offset balance within me.

About a year then passed. During this year, a few more minor developments occurred. I noticed a sync between my emotions and the weather. (Whenever I am upset or sad, it rains. When I am angry, It thunderstorms. When I am furious, it hails. When I am happy, the sun is out, not a single cloud in the sky. When I'm normal, the sky is just cloudy and plain.) I also created an effect of having some control over the wind. (I can make it slightly windy on a windless day if I try very hard.) My Synesthesia and SLIder experiences have become slightly more frequent. I was able to harness my power of animal speak. (I learned to not be afraid of it. I began to reply to my Cat and Dog's comments, and they could hear me. We now can carry a decent conversation.) I began seeing the spirits of my lost loved ones: My grandma, an old school friend, and many other spirits. (They visited just to be kind. They told me things, and to tell people that they loved them. I feared them slightly at first, but not anymore.) And, of course, Rachel got stronger. She sometimes makes me watch visions of my fears, and just horrible things she comes up with to torture me. She makes me have nightmares. And she seriously influences my actions.

During this year, I did a lot more research. I really did consider being psychic, but I read a lot that it is passed down through a family. I sort-of disregarded the whole Psychic thing after that. Me just thinking 'Well, I don't know anyone Who's Psychic, let alone in my family.' (And thinking back, It wasn't true even then. My aunt can talk to animals like me.)

That year lead up to very recently, when more major things have happened.

The first of these little events happened about a month ago. I was having a friendly little talk with my cat. He was in a bad mood about something, and I was trying to figure out what. I held him in my arms, and he got a little mad at me. (Apparently I was being nosey.) He Leapt out of my arms, giving me a nasty little scratch in the Process. (he still has his back claws.) For whatever reason, I got pretty mad. (I have a feeling Rachel influenced this.) Before I really knew what I was doing, I raised my arm, My hand extended at him. Suddenly my cat froze, and he just started screaming. He fell over and rolled around on the floor, sounding like he was being strangled. I then came to my senses, dropping my arm, my mouth hanging open. Did I do that? He then stood, rather shakily, and ran away. (I still don't know what that was about. Was it me or Rachel, or something else?)

Then, A few weeks ago, My Great Aunt died from lung cancer. She was a wonderful woman, kind and sweet. She had the most brilliant smile, though she never smiled during the cancer. The cancer transformed her into a sad mess, always crabby after losing her long black hair. Just before her passing, My mother Had asked her if there was anything she could do. She had just waived her hand dismissively.

The night of her wake, we had attended, crying amongst her family. That night, we got home late, and I got into the shower (Just to think, because I think best in water). My Mother ran into my bathroom, pale as a ghost. She looked at me, and said and I quote: "I saw her. There was a bright flash in my head, and she was there. Aunt Lorie, like she used to be, Her Long black Hair flowing. She smiled and laughed. She told me to tell them I'm Dancing." She just stared at me, and through the pain, my brain suddenly made the connection: My mother might be a Psychic. And I might be, too.

After that, a Blossom of new suspicions arose in my mind. I did more research online, and I came across this site. I have read a lot of your stories, and realized how much I could relate. I figured I should submit my story, to see what you think.

Well, That's pretty much it. What do you think? What am I? Help. Can you explain this Psychic world to me? I'm very new. Do I belong here? Please. Help. Anything you have to say, Please Share. How can I get rid of Rachel, Or at least keep her from getting stronger? Is she a demon? And how about me, What's up with me? I mean. Can you help? Explain my experiences? Advice. Comments. Questions. ANYTHING. Please. I need help. If you need more info, ask. I will gladly provide.

Thanks for your time.

Katie