I am new to this site. I stumbled upon it while looking for answers to help me finally, & hopefully, come to terms with something I have feared as long as I can remember. I hope by posting my story there is someone, knowledgable & trustworthy who can help me sort through and learn to control my ability. Here's my story:
Growing up I always had the feeling I wasn't alone. My earliest recollection was always feeling like my grandfather was with me (he died when I was 2 in my grandmas house). One night I said in my head "Pa if you're with me let me know." That very moment a pot fell off the kitchen counter. When I was 14 or 15, I was staying with my best friend one night when the closed door to her room began to have a red glow around it. I "felt" as though something was there. She saw it too. Of course we covered our heads screaming and it went away. No one obviously believed us. When my family moved into my stepfather's dad's house after he died (yes in the house), I always felt a strong presence. One night in the middle of the night I rolled over and saw a man standing inside my wall mirror at staring back at me. I was frozen with terror, couldn't move or speak. I finally covered my head and screamed for my mom. I had never met my stepfather's dad so I have no idea if the man I saw was him. My mom tried to tell me I was dreaming, I know I wasn't.
Later after I had my own place with my daughter at the age of 21- about 24, I lived in an old house turned duplex. I would constantly feel someone was with me. One night the feeling was so strong and I began seeing shadows about the house & I had to leave in the middle of the night. I felt like I was going crazy. During my stay there, I had very strong feelings of presences. After I met my husband a few years later we bought a house about 30 minutes away. The feelings of a presence grew stronger there. We have since sold that house.
One night I was talking with my mom after my step dad passed. She was telling me there were unanswered questions she had for my step dad that now she would never know the answers to. As she told me what they were, I bagan to hear a voice in my head telling me the answers. Answers I would have no way of otherwise knowing. I was very calm during this time but was so afraid afterword I actually cried with my mom. That type experience has happened twice with other people. Scares me everytime.
In recent years I find myself walking into a room and knowing something is there. I found myself begging it to go away. I was so afraid of what I'd see or hear or feel. I occasionally approach a situation or while driving even, and have a strong urge or hear a voice telling me to leave or go another way. If I dont, the voice gets louder until I listen. Most recently, 2 days ago at my grandmothers for Christmas, I took a photo and there was a smokey "thing" covering my whole photo. As I stared at the photo on my camera I immediately became aware something was there. I hear at that moment in my head "I am here with you all. I am always here".
I am tired of being afraid of this and would love to get a control over it. I feel I can use this ability in a good way if I can control my fear of it. Any advise would be most appreciated.