I never really believed in this stuff, but now I'm kind of iffy about it. The closest to believing I've got is my avid fascination with horoscopes and zodiac signs.
However, my life has been kind of strange. I've always been able to predict trouble, mostly I'll live out the scenario in my dreams and then a few days later in real life. And I get feelings about people, I generally know which people I can 'vibe' with. I'll often dislike people with no reason to back it but the energy they give off.
There is a guy, that I met in the sixth grade and immediately began crushing on. Over the years we became close and then distanced and then closer, toxic, to the point where I had to cut him off and start over new. He's the only one who knows me as deeply as he does. I've shared the strangest parts of me with him, and I feel as though I know him just as deeply.
We communicate through looks, even though I've distanced from him because he has a girlfriend. Often he's the only person who can predict what I'm going to say, finish what I'm saying, or even say it before I do.
In the 8th grade I was hit with the strongest certainty we would get married. It was just fact, I breathed it. He was my husband. But he seems so in love now, with his girlfriend, and I'm doubtful. I've now got another premonition that we'll fall off after high school and meet later in life. But I don't want to meet later in life, when he could be married and not in love with me. There have been times when he was in love with me, and I didn't openly love him back. Now I'm hoping those feelings are left and time is what it takes to remind him.
I've never really believed in reincarnation, but conversations with him often give me deja by. Often I'll state this and he'll agree. Maybe we've had them in a past life together?
My friends say we're drawn to eachother, and I feel the pull. Even once, in 8th, a teacher mentioned to me that we follow eachother, almost like we'd separate but always return, like magnets. One of my friends even said he's subconsciously in love with me and that's why he looks to me in group conversations, why he always seems to focus most on me, and interact with me most.
Or maybe it's just our history.
I just don't know how to be certain anymore. And I don't want to be let down. How do I know this is a real promenition or just make believe?
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