I Am Getting My Life Back

Wow! This site is truing amazing, thank you all for all your stories and advice. Writing this is really out of the box for me, and I'll tell you why. Since a very very young age, I would hear voices and people calling my name. Mostly whispers, and sometimes I wouldn't be able to tell what they were saying it was just all meshed together. My dreams were/are always very vivid. I fly above people, go to beautiful places that I have never seen before, dream in color, meet people that I have never met before, and have been communication with my wonderful and informative grandparents who have passed. The problem was every time I tried to tell my family about these experiences I was told my imagination was overactive, or it was just dismissed and it was never talked about any further, which made me second guess if I was crazy or making it up for attention. Wow were they wrong:).

I am 28 years old now and I am finally getting to understand my self better. Last year I had gotten suddenly ill out of the blue, pretty much over night. After numerous tests and a couple hospitalizations, I was told that I have fibromyalgia and lupus, but the tests are all normal. So this began my journey into investigating what was really happening to me. The illness started when I took a job in law enforcement (in a prison setting), and of course I am around very very negative people and evil all day long. I would become so mentally and physically drained that all I wanted to do was sleep. I would have horrible visions of the crimes some committed, but I was the victim in my mind's eye, and see spirits that were there one minute and gone the next. Then I started to have such pain that was so unbearable all over my body, so I medicated myself heavily, but it didn't work. I couldn't take it anymore and I couldn't understand why I had all the emotions of hatred, anger, frustration, fear, and so on. I couldn't control it, so I had to stop working. It was until three months ago, that I meet my natural healer. He is a holistic doctor and truly saved me from the pain I was having and continues to help me be a more positive thinker again. Prior to meeting him, I lost 40 pounds, sense of taste, smell, and couldn't even get out of bed some days.

Now, I am starting to get my life back, thanks to him. I am trying to get off all the medication that medical doctor's forced down my throat, so I can start functioning at my best health. I never had any illness before, so it is such a hard time for me. I was told that I was empathic, and would be a excellent life coach. He tells me every time I see him I can talk to him about anything and nothing is off limits, but I still hold it back, and he knows:)

I sense negative energies, people's feelings, cry at random things, and I can communicate with my dog on a strange level, he looks at me and I know what he wants right away. I never have to put him on a leash he is such a mommas boy always at my side. I see shadows and also bright lights in circle form, that seem to go away right away when I look. I started to learn how to meditate with my chakras and that has made a big difference in my energy level, and overall being. Things are making so much sense to me now. I can now explain all my experiences that has happened to me in the past, as they are flashing through my mind non stop. I am truly inspired and I am looking for ways to further these gifts. I want to learn how to not be afraid and stop dismissing them away.

My family continues to think that I'm crazy, but I just know I am not. I don't really know what gifts I have, and how can I talk more freely about it and finally be able to talk to someone who understands. My fiance says he believes me, but he said that he thinks it possible that it could be my medication.

I was raised to keep my feelings to myself and put other people first, I have a really really hard being open about my experiences and just saying them. Partly because I am afraid of being wrong, but I am eager to learn all that I can, and I how to how to protect myself so I can go back to work until I find the right job:)...any suggestions, thoughts, help me open up and stop being afraid. Thanks so much love ya.