I have been able to see and feel entities for as long as I can remember. Also when I had certain dreams I can feel that there's a message in them and in time they would come true, not like déjà vu; because it doesn't happen exactly as I saw it in my dream. Another thing that I can do that I find out of the norm is I can feel when someone is in pain [emotionally] and when someone needs someone to talk to. I recently found out that a handful of my family members have abilities of seeing the dead. Which I couldn't help but think that I might have that ability as well. As I mentioned before I have always been able to see, feel and hear the dead. I never put much mind to it though, if I felt or heard something around me I would simply ignore it. Until about a year ago, this is where things start to get really confusing for me, I start questioning if my abilities are real or just part of my imagination.
About a year ago, almost two, a huge family problem started based on me. This made me terribly upset and depressed. The presences I used to feel in my room before now seemed stronger and more active. I started having nightmares every night, the kind that still send chills through my body. I now know that there is a portal in my room and some spirits who come through there just wait for me fall asleep so they can communicate with me. Some encounters are not as bad as others. One of my first encounters was James. He didn't say anything to me I can just look at him and know his name and age, although I have never met or even seen him before. James is 19 years old and in my dream I saw that he just lays under my bed. This kind of dream is harmless to me, a little freaky but that's it.
I would just like to point out that all the dreams that I communicate with the dead through are O.B.E. I am positive of this because I can literally feel myself rising from my body, when I wake up I feel as if I were up all night and hadn't gotten any rest, and lastly, I can feel myself falling back into my body when I'm about to wake up. Another little fact about me is that I am always cold, my hands and feet especially. In the past year I have gotten more sick then I have all my life. I have been constantly going to the doctors and even E.R for the last year. And since the last year I have drastically started feeling fatigue way too often. I was told by an experienced psychic medium that the spirits are using my energy which obviously makes me weak.
There are two other kinds of dreams that I have that make me think I don't have an ability to see, hear or talk to the dead. In my dream I am placed in a scene that I have never seen before, and before I realize, there seems to be a story unwinding in front of me. I'll use Sally as an example. Again, her and I didn't talk at all, she didn't even look in my direction to be exact, but I know her name is Sally. 23years old, I can see her in her room, I'm standing outside her house, two males come along, one of these males are her ex-boyfriend and the other is his friends. Her ex-boyfriends name was Doug.
Doug is facing her window and yelling bad nasty names at Sally, he tells her to open the door but she refuses. She looks really upset from where I'm standing but I can feel she's terrified. As the scene continues Doug is getting incredibly upset, I can feel that he has about to do something really bad. My instant was to let Sally know, so I start screaming at Sally, telling her to call the cops. I quickly discover that they can't hear me. I try to climb up to Sally's window, maybe I can find a way to signal her. But I suddenly realize that there's snow all around me and I'm only in my sleep wear. I try to touch the house but it felt so cold it burned my hands, now I know that all I can do is stand there shivering and witness the horrible thing that's about to happen.
With help of his friend, Doug breaks a window from the first floor and climbs in. I run after him still screaming at Sally to call someone, but nothing. I had to stand there and watch Sally get raped and killed; I knew it was going to happen, I was facing her wall instead of them and I was already crying as soon as he broke in through the window. But somehow, while me facing the wall with my eyes closed and covering my ears, it seemed like I could see and hear the scene in my head. I HAD to watch the scene.
I was sleeping over my friends house this night and when I woke up she was starting at me in complete fear; she asked me if I was okay. She said I was shaking and she was trying to wake up but I couldn't wake up. I also got a cold for a few days after that, meanwhile it was summer and we didn't even sleep with the a.c on.
The worse kind of dreams that I have are when I'm actually in the spirits shoes because I can feel exactly how they died. For example, about 3 months ago I dreamt I was walking down the street late at night, I clearly know it's not really me, I can feel the body weight is different then mine, the way the clothes feels against me and the way I'm walking. In my head I hear a voice saying "your Joshua, 17 years old.", I can feel myself just shrug it off. 3 seconds later, 5 boys surround me, fear grows in me, what I [Kimberly] want to do is run and run fast!
But I can feel Joshua's fear get replaced with anger, he has a lot of pride. I feel "my" hands tighten into fist, and I swing at the kid directly in front of me; but that's all Joshua got to do. Because they all attacked me, I was punched everywhere! When I finally hit the floor I was kicked everywhere; the pain was unbearable! I threw up and they kept going; throughout all this I kept getting little photograph memories in my head. I saw Joshua's mother, and Joshua's girlfriend. Until one kid kicked me in the back of my head. It sent a sharp pain down my complete body, but as sudden as the pain came it left. And that was Joshua's last breath.
When I woke up I was completely sore and I ran to the bathroom to throw up. I have these dreams almost every night; even when I don't sleep in my room. I know what it feels like to be shot, to be stabbed, to be raped, jumped, buried alive, hung, burned alive, hit my cars and trucks, drowned and also die peacefully; I can really feel the way these people died!
Which makes me think I'm not a medium at all; because as far as my knowledge for medium/channeling is, Some people can see them, some can see them along with talk to them, some can just hear them, and some can do all three. My cousin can just see them. And I'm sorry if I might have offended anybody by leaving some other medium ability out, I'm not too experienced. All I know is that I can feel them, hear them [when I'm awake] and vividly see them when out of my body.
I'm really curious to knowing if I might have a gift, or if there's anybody out there going through something similar, or if this might all just be my imagination. Also, if this is real, what information do they want me to pass on? I can't just go up to someone's loved ones and describe the persons death scene. Or is there a way that I can control the amount of power these entities have over my body? Please help me; I'm incredibly confused and my mother doesn't like me talking to her about this. Any information or advice would really help me and would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you for your time and I apologize that my story was so long.
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