Confused About The Phenomena In My Life

This is a first for me and it's kind of weird to share personal info on a website but I'm very confused. Alright so my story goes a little something like this: Since I was young I've always been really amazed and intrigued by the existence of psychic powers, although I've only ever seen the T.V. Version. So I've been practically researching a ton of things and wishing I'd have the psychic experience I've read about since I was little. Now I'm pretty sure I have empathic tendencies and I thought I had some other stuff but every time I look into what I think I have or discuss it with my closest friend it's like whatever I thought I could do never happens again. Then some other possible ability comes up and I start getting excited and try to work with it and its gone. I also strongly feel that whatever I think or say, especially when I'm sure of it, the opposite happens. I'm just so confused about everything that's going on in my life. Whenever I assure myself its heading in a certain direction everything gets derailed. Am I over thinking things? Also I'm pretty sure I've seen fairies before. In my house because I don't leave it much (yeah yeah, I'm kind of a shut in but not really bad). They looked like really tiny balls of light but I swear I saw tiny little people in them. More than once when I on the brink of sleep I swear someone is right next to me in my bed and they softly say my name. That of course majorly freaks me out and I jolt completely awake. Have I just gone bonkers? Or am I just a really weak psychic?