I have several experiences from the war. I was there 16 months and worked primarily in the Sadr City area. I think I have always sort of known when a traumatic event was going to happen around me, but I normally was too scared or in shock about the inevitable event that was about to happen for me to realize my premonition. Well, in Iraq, I was terrified all the time for a while. Eventually, I just wasn't scared anymore.
The first time it happened, I chalked it up to my body not knowing what I was walking up on, but anticipating something bad. I was responding to an IED explosion and went to provide security for a disabled vehicle. We were only about a minute away and heard and saw the blast. As I approached the vehicle, I got a very chilling feeling and prickles up my back. Everything around me got very slow but I was still moving at a normal rate of speed. I opened the door of the disabled vehicle and found a mortally wounded US soldier who promptly died a few seconds later right there in my arms. There is much more to that particular story, but that's another point.
I got that feeling of slowing many many times and always it was preceded by me finding a dead or near dead person. Most times I had no idea I was about to find these people until just a minute or 2 before, when I started to get the feeling and the world slowed. Once, I was on a humanitarian mission and was feeling pretty happy. I was in an Iraqi house giving them shoes and I suddenly got the feeling. Then the woman of the house suddenly asked if I had shoes for a baby. We went into a back room and there was a little baby girl that looked sick. We went back to the house 3 days later and was told the baby had died the night before.
I have been in pitch darkness, suddenly gotten the feeling, and leaned down and grabbed the protruding elbow of a body that had been buried there.
After a while in Iraq, I found myself getting asked by name by the EOD (bomb squad), and QRF (quick reaction force) to do missions because I handled myself well in those situations. I also did a lot of public affairs work, talking to the press a lot about our missions. There are over 3500 hits on google on my quotes to the press and some stories I did for web sites and print papers.
Only twice since I have been home have I had the feeling, and both times, without warning, I came upon very traumatic circumstances. Never have I had any visions, just feeling. But, I guess Iraq, with so much death and destruction, sort of woke me up a little to whatever. I am just not scared anymore when I get those feelings.
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Physically, I have severe Tinnitus (constant ringing in my left ear) from all the racket in the Middle East and I believe from one of the IEDs that I was hit by. The vibrations my ear reacts to are different now. I usually hear what would be described as what crickets sound like at night outside a window. But I hear soft words and phrases mixed in as well from time to time, almost always at night. I can't really understand most of it, but from time to time my name is in there. Like I mentioned before, this sort of stuff doesn't scare me.
Spiritually, I could have chosen many assignments, but I chose an "off the beaten path" assignment here in Rhode Island. I have taken 6 semester hours in the Holistic Counseling program at Salve Regina University. My hearing disorder allows me to attain a state of mindfulness quite easily. As the only male energy in our class, I was an easy choice as the "guniea pig" for our Hakomi seminar. This was very powerful for me as I revisited some events from the war and continued back in time to me again as a soldier in the distant past. I only know that this was a time before electricity or advanced candles. I also recall that I was in charge of protecting a book of history for an important person. I remember trying to keep the rain off of it. The word "warder" came to mind as well.
I have rambled on much during this post, but wanted to respond to those who thought enough to remark on my story.
I have a couple other powerful experiences to share another time.
One is about my cat, who came to me just after I got home from Iraq. She has been by my side ever since. She is very cold to others, however.
Another is a vision of my Grandmothers grave to help me through some guilt issues.
Thanks again all
Sean
❤