I had been on a journey travelling between the USA and Mexico. Already before embarking on this journey it seemed like I was in the beginning stages of what one may call an 'awakening'. I had experienced the greatest love of all and since then I kept receiving 'downloads' and information from what I'd call source. I was in an observer state, without emotion or ego- just enjoying the moment consumed in complete love. I could feel and understand completely what everyone was going through but didn't take on their emotions. Eventually when we got to the USA, my vivid prophetic dreams returned and as we continued to do breathing exercises these seemed to heighten my experiences. I could think of someone and feel what they were thinking/feeling/ their traumas- understand why they were the way they were. I saw what someone thought of me and what they said about me to others. After one particular breathing session (wim hof) I received a vision as clear as a day of my soul mate and our child! I could see my future and what it was like. It was amazing, incredible and wonderful but for some reason scared me! And since then I have been terrified to just live my life, I keep self-sabotaging, feeling anxious, acting with force, trying to make things happen driven through my ego, feeling heavy on my chest/heart, not being able to just trust & let go, acting like I don't care, falling into pits of demotivation and generally just having a terrible time emotionally. And I don't know what I'm so scared! I did meditate on it and understood what I needed to let go and embrace but I really do not understand why I'm being so resistant to such a beautiful life ahead! Now and again depending on certain moods I can still access this extraordinarily heightened spiritual state! Receiving information about others, feeling what they feel, receiving guidance and messages, thinking of things and then they come to pass. I've even had a recent weird/scary experience of someone trying to prey on me because of this! This is very much not like me- I'm the kind of person who bites the bullet and just goes for it but maybe due to major past changes which felt so out of my control perhaps I'm fighting this one even if it is a good one because it is out of my control too?!
Seeing My Future Before Me!
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