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This Is my Story

 

My name is Courtney. I'm twenty-three years old. Ever since I can remember, I have been more "in-tuned" with things. I think I use my imagination to keep myself out of it, for what I see and experience isn't always pleasant. I've always been told I have the habit of getting away from the real world and delving into a fantasy world. I know why I do it and I sometimes force myself to do it to keep myself sane.

I'll start at the beginning:

I've always been a loner. I don't like crowds. I was even that way as a child, actually physically pushing myself away from people (including my mother) who held me. I also had certain people I hated and wouldn't want to be around even though I didn't know them.

Once my mom had this boyfriend. I hated him. He was a horrible man and did horrible things. I used to say things to him and her about it, but everyone denied it. Well, no one believed me until he did the things to me. I was so mad at my mother for not believing me before I didn't talk to her for days.

After that, I enclosed myself in my own little world. I was content on being alone. I had friends, but they were far and few between. I tended to attach myself to the more outgoing types for some strange reason, but my friendships never lasted long. During this time my best friend died from being hit by a car, I believe that had something to do with it also.

I eventually find myself living with my father. My mother and I don't get along well, so it was the best thing. This was during middle school, and I used to walk home. On the way was this overly large hill. I would run down it often. Basically, though, you can't see around it and it's a hazard for drivers.

Well, I was running and tripped. But, instead of falling forward, I fell backwards onto my butt. Just then a car came speeding by. If I would of fallen forward I would of been hit by the car.

I know it doesn't sound like a psychic thing, but what followed after that incident took me to the conclusion I'm at today. Since that ordeal I was able to "pick up" on things and people. I could read people, know when they were lying or know what they had done in their past. It was never complete, but it got more accurate as I got older.

I also began having dreams that would scare me awake. They weren't always "evil" but they were so real I'd scare myself. They would be of situations, conversations, places that I would be in in the near future.

I tried to enhance my abilities. I was curious. What was this that was happening to me? If I only knew the problems that would result! I did all sorts of things, Tarot, Ouija, Runes, whathaveyou. It opened the flood gates and for a good few years I was in a constant state of depression from what I felt.

I also saw things. They were all sorts of things, people, and animals. Sometimes they would see me, other times they didn't. Some didn't scare me, but a few did. They gave off such anger and evil I would nearly run the other way when I saw them. Often I knew they were around when I wasn't able to breath or when I would suddenly get so angry and there wouldn't be a logical trigger.

It was like a surge of emotions ran through me all the time. I was fine as long as I was alone and away from people. Once I went to school or went to the mall I could have such extremes of mood swings people would worry about me.

Finally it became too much and I had to seek help. Only, I didn't know what was wrong. I was put on all sorts of medications that either made me worse (it wasn't fun, either) or made me feel dead to the world. Sometimes I would hallucinate so badly I'd have to stay at home in bed. I went through all sorts of treatments, but still nothing worked.

It's been nearly three years and I finally have stopped taking everything and refuse to see anyone about it. No one that I know, other than a few friends, understand what's happening to me.

I've seemed to grow into my abilities as I can control it to a small degree now. I know my husband's friends better than he does. I know when he's done something he shouldn't have, and know exactly when he did it. I even know when his best friend is depressed and why. I still can't be in crowds for long.

I hardly ever have the dreams, though. Believe me, it's not a bad thing. I can sleep more now. When I'm actually tired...

Thanks for listening (and reading). Maybe this can help someone else? This is also a severely shortened version.

*I've had a lot of experiences that I don't feel comfortable with writing here.

Comments about this clairvoyant experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by psychic-experiences.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, chinamonroe, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

chinamonroe (1 stories) (2 posts)
 
13 years ago (2007-10-31)
Wow, Becci, I never knew that about covering my stomach. I will try it. Are there any other ways? Can I cover it with anything else or do the arms work best?

So, what I have seems to be empathy...I've read up on it before, but I will do so again.

Also, what exactly are spirit guides? I've never heard of them before, but I've heard of guardian angels.
becci20 (1 stories) (8 posts)
 
13 years ago (2007-10-30)
Hi courtney, I too can sense things about people and situations. When you have a feeling that going somewhere is a bad idea for example and then something bad happens there. I was told that this is your spirt guide, like a guardian angel. Your guide is that nagging voice who tells you someone is up to no good or that doing something is not a good idea, They could also be responible for making you fall so not to be hit by that car. You have a very strong gift. You are able to hear all your guides advice and if you listen it might help you stay clear of trouble. I would really like to help you to control you empathy and be able to be around people more. If feeling what someone else is feeling is effecting you, living or passed, then try covering your tummy (ie cross your arms) this covers your solar plexis where these feels are channeled and may help. I hope something here helps you.
chinamonroe (1 stories) (2 posts)
 
13 years ago (2007-10-28)
Thanks. It's nice to hear that I'm not alone in this.

I did confront my mother about what happened and she said she just couldn't believe the man did it but that she was sorry she didn't believe me. I understand how stressful it was for her, being a single parent and working all the time.

A friend of mine reminded me of a dream he had. He said that he spoke to me about it because he felt I would understand (he didn't really know me well at the time, he is my husband's best friend). It was something about the inner struggle he'd have to go through and a few things that were happing to him and that he needed to watch out for. The dream was really off the wall, I can't remember all of it. He only reminded me that so far I was correct and it's given him a sence of peace to know I believed in him when he was just a doped up guy I had only met a few times before.

In truth, he might of been an addict but I knew he was a good man. Of course, the few times I'd met him he didn't seem like anything but a loser. He wasn't even my husband's best friend, they had just met themselves.

It's strange.

You stay strong too. We've gotta stick together in this day and age.
bornundervenus (2 stories) (17 posts)
 
13 years ago (2007-10-25)
I don't really know what to say but you and I have had very similar life experiences. I ws put in foster care when I was 5 and was adopted when I was 9. The family who adopted me also adopted 8 other children like me. One of my brother's was born addicted to heroine, and he and his older brother(my older brother now) went to something like 37 foster homes before they found a home. Anyways a really rediculously long story short because of the psychological issues of the members of my family I was neglected (not really)emotionally. I was abused sexually by a sibling for a number of years in a number of ways. I kept it to myself and told only close friends of mine. It turned out that those close friends weren't really friends and my mother found out about it. And needless to say she didn't believe me. I also have kept myself closed off from others. I was always sensitive spiritually I was really effected by any kinds of negativity, arguments or attitude. I guess I would say that I'm an empath, and I also see visions. When I was 16 I had this horrible feeling that something was wrong or about to go wrong. During those three days my friend was diagnosed with skitzophranie a friend of my older brother died and my father had a massive stroke on day three. I lived at home I spent most of my time by myself in my room, I kept myself closed off from people and my family. By my senior year of high school I had few friends mainly just one (the dude I was dating at the time) then in college I made a bunch of friends and lost them in a matter of a few years. I used to have visions before I went to sleep a lot they scared me so much that I can't go to sleep without the tv on to distract me. Now I see white lights and shadows, I feel spirits from time to time and I just know stupid things like if I'm babysitting my niece and nephew I know when they are about to cry. This one is really stupid but sometimes I will be thinking about a particular scene in a particular episode of family guy and that episode will air the next day. Stupid I know but I find it to be hilarious. There is so much more I can tell you about but I've got to get back to work. You stay strong.

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