I've been aware of my natural gifts (aerokinesis and hydrokinesis) for the last 3-4 years and have been working with them, albeit weakly. Yet lately, I have noticed that they are stronger when I am away from home-- and grow even more stronger, the further and longer away I am. In fact, the first time I ever used them was when I was away for 3 weeks, 5 hours away from home, when I was 11. I was very angry, frustrated, and uncertain-- and the wind blew in, VERY strongly. It was completely accidental, and I wasn't even aware of what I did until a the next year.
Last summer, I went to 2 advanced academic summer camps, which took 2 months away, with only a week in between at home. The first camp was 3 hours away, and the second was 5 1/2 hours away. My abilities at the second camp was beyond any I could ever be capable to do at home- and for the first time, I was completely certain that I actually DID have abilities beyond normal. Now that I am back home, that certainty has faded, and I cannot help but occasionally wonder if this is not all in my head.
Compared to a little concentration and a lot of energy draining at the academic camp, it takes several attempts and dizzy spells to do the exact same things at home. Even thinking about my abilities is difficult: my mind goes haywire and one thousand different, completely unrelated thoughts pour forth and make it extremely difficult for me to focus on the problem at hand. I've actually had to force myself to write this over the course of 3 hours- it's as if I've suddenly became severely ADD.
I've been thinking about this, and I've come to this conclusion- is there some sort of mental block preventing me from using my abilities as strongly as I can? But, why would there be? I'm 15 and therefore still live with my parents, in a very small town in the Appalachian mountains. There is absolutely no one else up here who uses psychic abilities, as far as I know- any who would admit to it would be seen as crazy. Why on Earth would anyone put up a mental block? Is it even possible? It seems like a completely absurd idea to me.