Right off the bat I will say, I am so sorry for any grammar or punctuation issues. My skills are horrible.
#1) heart goes out to Oklahoma and the Tornados.
#2) past 3 days I have randomly had the BIGGEST urge to research tornado's, and HAARP. Then the other day, this massive tornado hits. This sort of thing happens to me a lot.
#3) My nightmares.
Every time I speak of these, people just brush me off their shoulder as if I'm just a child with bad dreams. ANYWAY. I've had these horrible continuous night terrors for going on 15 years. They involve the typical, apocalyptic end.
In my dreams, I have seen it after its already happened (I could draw EVERYTHING I have seen in these dreams). I'm on my own. And I'm constantly travelling and protecting myself. I am a natural warrior so it just makes sense. I won't get into "every episode" because that would take 15 years or more of boring you all. I just have this huge feeling that one day it will just happen? I don't think there will be an insane apolcalyptic end randomly. I do think how ever governmental stuff will lead to the destruction of so many things so quickly.
Every time I would wake up from sleep, I have actually thought it was all real. It almost feels like an Astral Projection (which I have had once but it was much much different and since then I have been researching like mad.)
Why am I so frightened about my night mares?
I feel it in my gut everyday. Like the times I had a nightmare of two kayakers going missing, the next day my father in law had to go searching for two kayakers (he is search and rescue), he found their kayaks on the beach like I saw, but nobody around. In my dream they found a foot and a jacket. They never found the foot but they found a jacket.
Since I was a little girl I had these certain nightmares that would be embedded into my head until now, (example 101: I'm 5 years old. I'm alone on a road in a city, it's night time, there are trash cans down the road waiting for morning pick up, the air is SO still I can remember it vividly and everything is completely silent. There's a very strange and scary sound I keep hearing in the distance as I stand at this quiet dead street looking over the hill at city lights. Its not a sound that makes you comfortable. Some what of an electric pulsing sound. That's the best description I could think of.)
So I have literally had these nightmares of me, running and travelling to safe havens (yes this kind of sounds like I'm running from something in my life. But I am a very head strong girl and don't think like. Well anyone else I have ever met.) protecting myself and making myself stronger. There's a disease that has obviously spread via the hospital from some kind of "cure gone wrong" or something. I haven't quite figured that out yet. As I'm constantly running and fighting and holding my breath from these (typical) things. Zombie like beings that aren't exactly a slow moving, rotting corpse. They have a bit of intelligence. If you hide they will eventually find you. I've seen myself make insane "mechanisms",to trap and kill them, I never thought I could come up with.
I still feel like its all true, and it will all happen.
I learn about these horrible things Gov' and such do and have done for such a long time, and it almost just all adds up in my head as simple math. I don't believe in UFOS (I believe they're all government except for the light "orbs" that have been spotted on occasion, possibly).
Is anyone else having these nightmares? I mean it would be a different story if I had these night mares once and while. Its every night, for going on 15 years. I've gone to a councillor about it once. He was very open, but he didn't understand. He just suggested I try and astral project to figure it out.
This is madness! I am a very very curious girl and love to explore so I hope that spilling my guts will open another door to this. I'm not crazy. I'm not depressed. I'm curious to the max!
Also, I have had very many "spiritual encounters" growing up. Good and evil.
The only reason I am "worried" about it is the amount of times I have thought of something or dreamt of something sad/bad/insane happening. It happens. This is the only one that has not happened yet?
Anyway thanks for even reading this if you took the time to. It's awkward talking about this so freely.
I forgot. I remember the first night I had this "beginning' of night terrors. I was sleeping. Something woke up me but I laid still in my bed. I opened my eyes slowly and there was a black object hovering over me. It looks like smoke almost. It was defiantly a almost human like shape... Grim reaper silhouette if you will. It was pitch black, my room had some light in it from the street lights. I immediately remember going into a seizure like state (this is what I call it because I have no idea). I was completely locked into a position I could not get out of. All my joints were in pain from being so tense and shaking so hard. I remember my neck most of all was forced back, in a non natural way while all this was happening, as if I was forced to look at it. This thing just stayed floating above me. It didn't make me feel safe. I felt in danger. I KNOW I was awake. I remember smacking the back of my head on my headboard. I eventually stopped violently shaking in a way I have never experienced before. I tried to come to my senses and completely wake myself up by turning on the lights etc. Anyways, I can remember that being one of the most scary times of my life. Thought I would put this in here cause maybe it connects?