I have been born with being hyper sensitive. I feel everything from everyone and it hurts at times. I know things and don't know how I know them. Words come out of my mouth sometimes with know picture or visual to help me. With my blood relatives I can feel when they have died.
In 1999 I called my grandmother to see if she had spoken to my mother, I just had this gut wrenching feeling that always directed me to mom. Well, on this day she says to me yeah but I haven't spoken to her in days. She said your mom called and asked if she needed to pick up anything for Thanksgiving and I gave her a list and that was the last word I heard from her. During the course of the call I new my mother was dying and there was no one who could help her. I didn't say anything to my grandmother because although she has seen my abilities at work before she lost my aunt the year before and I was afraid. Two days later I get a call that they found my mother dead in her living room. When they asked how did I know that my mother was dying and left a message telling her I loved her, I couldn't explain. Who would believe me?
In 1998, my Aunt Michele and I were mapping out my career path and she was so into me being in the Senate it wasn't funny. I said to her I will do it only if you are my assistant, she looked me dead in the eye and said I won't be here for that, I am going to die. I laughed and tried to shrug off the truth of that statement and told her not to speak like that but it was already said and I knew to my bones she was right. She told me she saw the Angel of Death and I said that happens when you know someone else is going to die not you and she said, "No, that's not true." Two weeks after that conversation I get woken up by a phone call and I flew out of bed in heart wrenching pain. My husband gets off the phone and tells me my Aunt got hit by a car and she didn't make it. And I was immediately struck back into time where we had our conversation and it hit me like a blast.
When I walk in a room and I read people, I cannot see color but I see an invisible wall and a vibration. It scares me. I have many other things I can do or happens to me. I dream and things come true. I make a statement about something hypothetical and it comes true.
What I really need though is to find a way to control these overloaded feelings I get and since I was born with it I can kind of deal with it but I never know whose feelings am I feeling; mine or someone else's. Now my eleven year old daughter has the same gift and it's destroying her. She doesn't know how to sectionalize the feelings and I don't know how to tell her because as I was born with the gift I was also born with the knowledge on how to empty myself of all feeling so I could only focus on the ones I receive, but I don't feel as a result to it, but I know how I'm supposed to feel and act on it that way.