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Frustrating Lack Of Envisioning


I used to be able to connect to the energy of the elements. I was able to help a friend who was having a severe asthma attack by forcing his lungs open by forcing air to inflate his lungs, or postpone the rain while I finished my cigarette. These I quit as someone told me that they bring death into you not only by natural means, it actually brings darkness into you. I could draw out bad or good emotions from people, I used to use it to help people who are depressed, the only problem with that is, the emotion would end up in me as it had to go somewhere.

I used to be a shadowmancer, that is someone who's abilities are from a dark source, I changed that at the risk of my life as the dark entities now wish to kill me for "betraying" them. Since then I have tried to channel my intent through light, yet I feel that it shuns me. I know that I did this correctly as I had the help of a being of Light. These days I have no connection to anything, although I can still see the natural energy that emits from everything. This obviously has given me quite a bit of distress, I also can't imagine things, when I close my eyes everything is in shades of grey or black and have no shape.

I see the world not only as solid, but made up of billions of tiny bursts of what I can only describe as quasi-light. I can only truthfully say that I can remember about three dreams, and even those are fading fast, I only really know that I had them. Is there anyone who can help? I hope so as this is causing me great distress, I feel like these things were just dreams, yet I know that they are not.

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Comments about this clairvoyant experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Damiandarkshadow20, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

IslVoter (257 posts)
10 years ago (2012-06-22)

This is only my opinion, but I think your transition is not from dark to light but from your beliefs and fear.

I don't think any of us WANTS to believe we are made of "dark source"...but people, especially young people now, kind of adopt the belief, feeling belonging somewhere is better than nowhere.

I know these are a lot of assumptions--and they may be wrong.

But I can identify with your lack of connection. It happens to me often, more often than I'd like. And finally I've come to understand that it is not that the light leaves me but I block the light--with fear, doubt, anger, etc.

But it does come back. At some level you may still be believing what you used to. And that is blocking your acceptance of the light as truly belonging to you. It does.

It's not the quick answer I know you'd like, but just try to hang in there and not get discouraged. It will be back. And for you, perhaps different ways of "seeing" will appear.

At least that is my hope for you.

Good luck in your journey.

Isle - Lora

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