I used to be able to connect to the energy of the elements. I was able to help a friend who was having a severe asthma attack by forcing his lungs open by forcing air to inflate his lungs, or postpone the rain while I finished my cigarette. These I quit as someone told me that they bring death into you not only by natural means, it actually brings darkness into you. I could draw out bad or good emotions from people, I used to use it to help people who are depressed, the only problem with that is, the emotion would end up in me as it had to go somewhere.
I used to be a shadowmancer, that is someone who's abilities are from a dark source, I changed that at the risk of my life as the dark entities now wish to kill me for "betraying" them. Since then I have tried to channel my intent through light, yet I feel that it shuns me. I know that I did this correctly as I had the help of a being of Light. These days I have no connection to anything, although I can still see the natural energy that emits from everything. This obviously has given me quite a bit of distress, I also can't imagine things, when I close my eyes everything is in shades of grey or black and have no shape.
I see the world not only as solid, but made up of billions of tiny bursts of what I can only describe as quasi-light. I can only truthfully say that I can remember about three dreams, and even those are fading fast, I only really know that I had them. Is there anyone who can help? I hope so as this is causing me great distress, I feel like these things were just dreams, yet I know that they are not.