Great news! I am an Emapth. You can imagine the water works then as I've read through a few stories on here, trying to figure out where it all fits in to my life.
Quick background, I'm 41, married, 3 children, one of which crossed over already and only one still at home. My grandmother passed when I was very young, and she was allegedly a highly regarded tea leaf and Tarot reader from Younkers, NY via Somerset County, PA. My dad did everything in his power to keep me away from that lifestyle because he thought his mother cursed our family because of her work. I was so attached to everything paranormal though, as soon as I learned to read I was attempting to move things with my mind.
I just returned from a brief visit to Lily Dale, NY, which was amazing and beneficial, and unfortunately too quick for my needs.
So, I stumbled on to this site while Googling how to find a mentor, and here I am, at your mercy.
When I say I am an Empath, I am probably on the higher end of the spectrum. I work in admin for healthcare, so I get to read about, talk about, hear about and see injury and illness on a regular basis. I've had to learn to shield myself from it, not because it grosses me out, rather because I can physically feel the pain. If someone has a broken ankle, mine starts to throb, if someone is getting blood taken, my vein feels the needle and the draw of the blood being pulled out. Teeth are the worst. If I see someone get their tooth knocked out or broken, even on television my gums ache incessantly. I can't even watch a good slasher film without getting queasy.
It's not just the physical feelings though. I can "see" people's illnesses. Mostly it's related to people who abuse drugs. I pick them out of a crowd like finding four-leaf clovers. I don't see auras- people just appear to be a different color to me when their body is riddled with something - anything other than health.
And lies? Ask my husband or my kids, there's no getting anything past me. I mean nothing. I always assumed it was because I was highly intelligent until I started realizing all of my symptoms added up to something more.
Lately, I have to text everyone I love or throw something up on Facebook if I'm depressed for no reason, because I'm sure it's due to someone else and not anything going on in my life. Last year I was sick in bed for two days. I had no fever, but had all of the symptoms of the flu and felt very suicidal. My daughter, who was 20 at the time, had been thrown in jail for possession of heroin and was detoxing. She said she was crying out for me the entire time. The times of my illness completely coincided with her withdrawal.
I have weird panic attacks minutes before people die and I've seen dead people or shadows but they only seem to hang out or come around when I'm super stressed out in my own life. I get phantom smells a lot too. When my husband and I were arguing one day, the entire car filled with his grandmother's perfume. Sometimes I get the urge to cold read people. I'll just walk up to random strangers and tell them about themselves as if I've known them all their lives. It freaks me and them out, sometimes I just have no filter.
I've begun to study Tarot and ever since, my visions have been more and more, but I don't know what to do with them or how to interpret what I'm getting. I almost blacked out while driving the other day because some dead lady wanted to wave to her granddaughter and give her love. I was on a mountain road heading home from work and suddenly I was in a field atop a hill and wasn't driving at all, just watching this lady smile and wave. I could hear her say my friend's name, but when I tried to communicate with her the silence was deafening. When I texted the girl and described the lady and where I saw her while I was driving, she told me it was the cemetery where she was buried then sent me a picture of the lady. It was totally gratifying and scary at the same time. It was definitely her, I even got the clothing correct. That doesn't happen at will though, it seems dead people can communicate with me, yet I am not sure how to communicate with them yet.
I am committed to taking a Tarot class in October that will develop that area, yet I would love to develop the other things more. Help?!:)
~ In Love and Light