As a child I have always been able to read people and their emotions. However after a near death experience my gift became stronger. I actually saw my grandfather that died a day after I almost died. I also had a strong sense of protection. I started having very vivid dreams, sensing things around me or others, and pulls toward people or things. In my teens I started blocking everything because I was told it's not "Christian". I even started using drugs to numb my senses. I am now 3 years sober, have strong faith, and recently started meditating which seems it has made what I was blocking much stronger. I have also been pulled towards crystals and gemstones. The senses and very vivid dreams have returned. I also see things around my house which look like shadows and can sense them in the room, but I feel as though I am afraid to see them and this is keeping me from seeing their full form. I am just now accepting my abilities and need help. Most of my fear comes from the apprehension of speaking or seeing negative energies or having something cling into me. I feel that I need protection if I decide to speak with my guide's or spirits during my meditation. Since I was a teenager I have also had intense headaches which now seem to be occurring less the more I meditate and I wonder if headaches are caused by something? I also wonder if this is against Christian faith? Because I feel God has given me this gift so why would it be a bad thing to use it for good?
Thank-you for any help.