I've always had spiritual abilities.
Visiting people's dreams
Some weather control
Dreams about the future
Contact from angels or guides through numbers
Manifesting my small wants easily
When I was younger I was a lot more fearless.
As I've gotten older & I've made mistakes etc, I've gotten more fearful of life in general. I've experienced abuse a couple times that has sent my nervous system into shock and made me isolate. So I'm really fearful all the time particularly afraid to leave my house or be around people, and I've always been a hypochondriac so fearing I have some illness all the time even after getting a check up.
3 major things I'm struggling with
1 I met someone who I was intensely attracted to and they were to me. They turned out to be psychotic, narcissist, and used and manipulated me and I got sooo sick after dealing with them. I walked away, but anytime I think of them, I manifest my deepest fear and I'll get some phone call, advertisement on my phone or something will pop up saying Cancer. Which is my deep fear related to my health anxiety. When I stay away from this person it doesn't happen I feel healthier, and I get resources for healing. Why would thinking of this person trigger such dark and scary and instant manifestations?
2. My grandmother died. But I was notified of her death three years before. I got a little thought that said "your granny will die in 3 years." The third year I met with her the day of her death and randomly started talking to her about the transition process and what it looks like. She died that night. THAT scared the crap out of me! Knowing she would die. Now I fear I'm dying! I've never dealt with loss before and now I'm so afraid to meditate or listen to my higher self because my brain keeps playing tricks on me. I'm having nightmares being told I will die but they're nightmares not my normal lucid dreaming. Everyday I fear dying and I fear dying of all types of ways and fear is ruining everything!
3. I have always made lights flicker here and there but now things are tapping and knocking around me. I thought it was a negative entity and I yelled at it and well it feels less scary. But it's still here tapping. It gets worse when I'm angry or really scared. I thought maybe it was correcting my actions so maybe it was a guide. But when I ask it questions it doesn't really answer. So I don't know if it's my energy, a guide a spirit or what but it's annoying and exhausting!
Also my gifts are sooo super natural it also makes me feel like I'm dying like I don't feel like a real human.
Has anyone experienced being told of someone's death than fearing their own?
Has anyone experienced communication through spirit guides with tapping or rude guides?
Has anyone experienced negative manifestations when thinking of someone or being around them?