I told my spirit guides to go away. And now I'm worried I won't ever see them again. How do I know when I'm ready to bring them back and how do I tell them to come back?
It was a 22 months ago I told them to go away. I sat on the edge of my bed when I woke up one morning. I pleaded with them. My hands on my knees and fists open, I looked down towards the carpet embarrassed to look up and I had the house to myself, I said in some fashion, "look I can't do this anymore, you guys have to go away, you have to let me sleep, I can't go on anymore like this". It was in reference too the year of bad sleep and insomnia I had been having. They had been showing up in my dreams. I didn't know how else to combat them.
I had seen 7 spirit guides hanging out all around me in my bedroom. They looked like black static and all felt male in gender. They kept discussing me with great concern as if they had been there for hours trying to figure something out. I could only hear the word "her" over and over again. I wanted so bad to listen in and to hear what they were saying but as if they knew I was about to wake up they disappeared. I opened my eyes and nothing was there. I looked at all 7 locations in my room were I had saw them. One each of my lamp shades, another floating in a corner, another sitting on top of a door, two more in front of a mirror, and the last one the left side of the bed. I could feel them look at me when they discussed options. One of them was wearing a top hat. I don't know why that detail is important to share.
I have witness in my dreams as if my eyes were open an angelic women pacing my backyard fence line, completely and utterly worried. The white glow as so unmistakable. I had cried when I finally woke up. The feeling was so bothersome. I never found out what she wanted. I had this strong feeling she was battling with a question of crossing a line or there was a physical barrier for her were she was unable to cross and as though she needed to tell me something. There was definitely a feeling of warning.
These dreams and many other experiences had kept me up at night and unable to sleep for a solid 5 hours and ultimately unable function in my daily life. This is when I cracked and firmly out loud, "you have to leave." Ever since then they have left me alone and I've been getting way better sleep.
However I've notice ever since I told them to go away my life has gotten flat, boring and stale. I feel like my progress in life has slowed to a snails pace. I'm worried it's because I told them to leave.
If I somehow figure out how to bring them back how can I knowledge their presence and get good sleep?