I believe I'm submitting this to the right place. Here lately, I've been interested in meeting my spirit guide. I've been studying my spiritual self for years, and I think I'm ready to reach out. My experience however was unusual from what I've heard, and I'm not certain what to make of it. If you have any advice, please email me (firstname.lastname@example.org) or leave a comment. Thank you for any input you can provide.
To start off, I always meditate before bed. I turn on music and allow everything physical to fall away, thus letting me access my mind more fully. This being the case, I used this method to try and contact my spirit guide. I started as usual, but added a mantra, reaching out to my guide, allowing them to contact me, and thanking them. I repeated it in my head three times before allowing thought to fall away. During my meditation, I was brought to a dark, comfortable space. I was sitting crossed legged on the "floor" holding a sphere. It looked like glowing white quartz crystal, but it was swirling inside, and it smelled of cherry, apple wood, and vanilla. I got the strong sense that I was holding my own soul. After a time, I allowed my physical form to take a few deep breaths and resurface. I thanked my spirit guide again, believing it had connected and allowed me to experience this, and closed the meditation.
Following this, I went to bed. Now this is where things get unusual. I know this site isn't for dream interpretation, but I believe this is how I connected to my guide, or whatever I experienced, and that is directly related to this site. If I'm mistaken, please tell me.
So I fell asleep at 1:50 in the morning, a usual time for me. Almost immediately, I entered sleep paralysis. I've encountered this before, but this time was different. I knew I was asleep and awake at the same time. I was bouncing back and forth between a conscious and unconscious state. I knew the unconscious state was lucid dreaming. I was seeing very real settings of my current life. Being scared of what I was feeling and texting the man I'm seeing, and having him fully support my emotions. My financial and work situation going well, among other things that are fuzzier now. I knew all of them were good things that I had the power to achieve, should I desire. I KNEW this what my spirit guide trying to show me things. But I was terrified during everything because I was bouncing between the physical and spiritual world. During the sleep paralysis, it didn't feel normal. It wasn't that I simply couldn't move but it felt like something was IN ME, keeping me from moving. My whole body was vibrating with what I can only describe as electricity, and it hurt. While I was in the physical, I would feel this, and beg for it to stop, for whatever was in me to leave. I wasn't making a sound, but I knew my lips were moving. Every time I would beg it to stop, I jumped back to the lucid dreams. Then when what I saw was over, back to the physical. And it kept on like this for what I later realized was 1.5 hours. I woke up fully and truly at 3 am or so, feeling hollow and like something was watching me. I was scared to go back to sleep. This truly shook me, and I'm not sure what I connected with. If anyone has any answers, please help. Thank you, and blessed be.