I'm still hesitant to share this but this has been bothering me for years already so I best come clean now. Part of why I've been hesitating is that I don't know or rather I don't exactly remember the full nature of these things, so I must apologize in advance if I can't be any clearer than this.
For years now, since the latter part of my high school years, I've always wondered what I was exactly since nobody seemed to share my abilities. I started off and still am an empath but then it's only much later that I realized the extent of that ability. Turns out that I've been able to amplify or nullify certain things, like I can enhance your ability and mine when I'm near you and I can block out broadband net connection signals at times (so I try not to meddle so much with technology, they don't really agree with me. Laptops hang or slow down when I'm around especially when I need them). But it's gone haywire as I could even get somebody else's abilities (which is very much like Rogue's in X-Men but the people don't pass out nor are they aware of that) and one has even lost his ability of sensing things about a person (mostly because I didn't want him sensing my current state at the time). In effect, I have a little bit of the different sensing abilities- hearing, tasting, seeing, smelling, and feeling the future.
That's partly the reason why I try to stay away from people, avoiding any kind of contact with them. Thankfully, I haven't been getting anyone's abilities anymore since I pretty much dedicate my willpower in these things and I found a friend who shares this ability as well, so I'm trying to pass it all on to her; but it can also get worse depending on how things end up. The other reason is that I don't want so many people getting involved with me. And this is the part I hesitate sharing to others. Some entity/ies is/are bothering me, monitoring me even, and can definitely hurt the people I've been acquainted to or associated with.
It's not that he/they (I'm not sure as don't know really.) harm me physically but I could say that what he's/they're telling me and doing to others bother me the most. Just to clear the he/they phrasing, I've met him only in dreams with his minions at times but my attacked friend definitely said they; so I'm not sure if this guy's working alone in checking up on me. This entity's nature has been bothering me as I'm seriously considering him a demon. It bothers me more that I have an ever present wind around me, usually colder than the actual temperature (which is convenient most of the time if not only for the incredulous looks I get from the family when I comment that it's too cold) who hugs me when I'm alone and caresses my cheeks when I'm about to sleep. My fiend said I had a motherly-figure entity with me so I don't know if it's her or him who's with me wherever I am.
That guy first appeared to me (in my dreams of course) disguised then as my dead Grandfather (This is the dream on my grandfather's 40th day since his death. My Grandfather was a medium as my Mom mentions at times.) but for some reason I immediately knew he was an imposter. To sum that up, he appeared in the dream so he could try to pass on a new power to me, my Grandfather's power. I refused and did whatever I can to keep it that way. And that's when everything went down. He'd appear in my dreams as someone else, people I don't know, but I'd still know it's him. He still
Tries to convince me to take that power by showing me why I need it. He points out that with it I could protect my friends and family, and that it is my destiny. Well, he is right as with it I could finally see him and deal with him personally, but that would mean he's got me wrapped around his finger. He goes on telling me about my destiny, hinting who I really am and why I'm needed, and generally tries to ride my guilt trip on not being able to protect my friends as much as I'd want to.
My friends get injured or lose something important to them sometime after I've attempted to open up a bit on this. I met someone online before that could help me with this but he said he couldn't tell me what's really happening as they could go after his girlfriend too. And he's on the other side of the Earth! My friend got attacked by hordes of his minions when she got home after she told me that they see me as a potential threat when directed at the right path. My other friend had a lot of brushes with death after I told him my situation. I noticed that the people that could help me or are a threat to me somehow are the ones who were targeted. The teacher I hated as a child lost her son at sea mysteriously and the teacher I wasn't comfortable with in high school died, and the people who dissed me somehow got Hell on Earth.
What I find strange the most is that whatever I put into solving this really goes to waste as I conveniently don't remember anything I've really realized that could help me fight this. When I find a way to get the answers, suddenly something happens that I lose the opportunity to do so. When I finally find clues, the trail suddenly gets cold and leads to a dead end.
My friend and I had a talk the other day since she did bring up a demon topic. When I told her about this she told me I shouldn't be afraid since they/he will feed on my fear. But that isn't really the case I think. More than anything, it sure feels like he's trying to get me to fall in despair and succumb to my anger. It's because I'm strongest when I loathe absolutely everything, which was my state of mind when I was in high school. I suspect (I don't recall exactly) that he appeared at the time that I realized that living my life out for revenge (well more out of envy and frustration of not being normal in anyway) and giving everybody Hell was wrong.
When that realization struck, I did everything I can to stop myself from ever going back to that trail of thought more so when he appeared. I gave up parts of my ability, well more like converted it, to have another. I gave up my ability to draw out energy from anything, which lessened my "time" and weakened my general health, to give my protection to my friends and family. With that I am able to monitor how they're doing/feeling even when they're far away. So if one of them gets injured, I get half the damage/pain. It hurts, especially since I amplify even my own pain, but it's necessary. I also gained the ability to sense entities or other things with my blind spot but that's not enough to know the nature of the entities that stare at me.
So if there's anything that really bothers me it's the entities' nature, why do they do the things they do, and how do I get to stop them given that they do keep me from finding things out?