Good day everyone, I'm an empath but an untrained one... I knew I was an empath just a few years back, but I started feeling it when I was still a child. The very first time I notice this was when I first watched a movie where an arm and leg of a man were cut off and I could feel the pain on the exact spot, but since I was little that time I think it was normal for everyone. Empaths can feel other peoples emotions and when I was a child I don't know the difference between my emotion and others, so I can easily be overwhelmed with huge crowd, the result was I became a cry baby and since I'm a guy my classmates tend to mock and bully me, so I practice to keep my emotions intact and hidden from other people and I became a loner. Now that I'm older I kind of like to tell that I'm good at hiding my emotions, always smiling even though I'm hurting inside or keeping a "poker" face. My recent job was more like a home for me since most of the people there are open minded and believe in psychic, there was even another empath there but unlike me she was hyperactive and outgoing. The most comment I heard from them was they can't read me and that's bothering them since they are used to reading people, they even let me go to one person that they know who was a much more powerful psychic and I think he can't read me either but in the end of our session I got a terrible headache. The shield that I've unknowingly put up from my childhood experience was sometimes strong enough to even disrupt the internet and mobile connection around me, but at the same time it's too thin that I get very overwhelmed with a huge crowd or loud voices. I unknowingly put it up too strong before that one of my colleague didn't even see me sleeping on the stairs, I've gotten earlier on the office that time but I don't have a key so I decided to take a nap on the top of the stairs where anyone can easily notice me.
The question is, is it ok for me to put up this kind of shield? It's a shield that blocks me from others but it's not blocking others for me. Any tips on the subject will also be appreciate