For as long as I can remember I've had varying experiences that have increased in intensity as I have become older. These experiences have often made me feel isolated and alone and now that I am older I feel an almost uncontrollable urge to make contact with those who are the same.
I am writing this not to boast about my abilities, this is to hopefully find some answers and advice!
My earliest experience was when I was around 4-5 years old and my family had just moved into a new house but I would not enter my bedroom willingly or forced. If I was put in there while sleeping I would be screaming to be let out within about five minutes. I remember yelling "Take me out of here it smells like fly spray!" over and over. It became so bad we ended up moving.
From here we started traveling around Australia in a Kombi and each place we stopped I would come across something; a person, object or book, which always seemed to be on the same path as I was walking. Such as coming across an occult spell book in one of the school libraries I was in or meeting a new person who would ask me odd questions [about dreaming, feeling other people etc] or tell me strange things about their own experiences of the same.
One occasion I was in a café and a woman came up to me, introduced herself as a high priestess and proceeded to tell me "It wasn't my time yet and I am to stay away from covens due to a darkness that clings to me". This shocked me as only a few weeks prior I seemed to have taken home a very evil entity with me after performing a séance with friends [which I think every teen does at some point!]. I wasn't 100% certain if this was a ghost, spirit, demon or some other evil all I know is that I was kept awake at night with an insistent knocking, scraping or tapping which ended up evolving into voices trying to get me to do awful things. Another interesting thing about this "thing" was its jealousy. If I ever had a boyfriend over, even just a boy who is my friend, it basically made my home feel so uncomfortable they didn't stay long. After they would leave it would become almost manic with its power. I am not bothered by this thing so much these days but every now and then when I am alone I can feel it watching me.
Other things I've experienced is an over whelming feeling of panic and horror at some theories about how the world will end. I had 2 dreams; one being the sun fell to earth, broke open and destroyed us. The other was a bomb made to amplify the suns rays to destroy the earth, I woke up screaming and was extremely hot to touch and I still felt the burning. I was watching some sort of doc about end of the world theories and when a guest came on to describe their end of world visions it was so close to my dreams I started shaking violently and crying, my Mum ended up having to calm me down.
After moving out of home I had fallen asleep in the study where my boyfriend, at the time, was using a computer. I woke up and started trying to get his attention and to complain about how hot it was. It seemed like he was ignoring me so I spoke louder and grabbed his shoulder, he still didn't notice me. This is where I turned around to see myself still laying asleep on the bed. Instead of freaking out I decided to go for a walk around the house. Sure enough no matter how hard I tried no-one could seem to hear or see me. Walking into the bathroom I looked into the mirror to only have my reflection look red and badly sunburned, I touched my face and I found it very hot. This is where I woke up, well tried to, it was like my limbs were paralyzed and I couldn't move. The feeling of heat started to dissipate and movement returned to my limbs.
This happened again a few weeks later but this time something called my name from the hallway, I went out there to have a look then suddenly I felt like someone had switched on a vacuum and was trying to suck me into this vortex looking thing. It took all my strength to wake up from this. Additional to the varied experiences in this house I often heard a little boy crying in the bathroom, specifically the bath.
As a teenager I was a devout Born Again Christian and had MANY encounters with something [I no longer believe in the one "God"] however no-one would listen and eventually I was asked to leave the church.
I seem to get I a feeling like the pressure is shifting, I can feel it in my chest and head and then my ears get these odd binaural tones where each ear has a slightly different frequency so it creates an effect like a bell resonating or the slow movement of helicopter blades. DeJa Vu usually follows this and depending on the intensity I can come close to fainting.
Quite a few times now I have inadvertently taken away/taken on ones pain, especially if they are having headaches. They tell me how they feel and then all of a sudden I get a rush of blood/heat and BAM headache! Sometimes the person says it's suddenly gone or it continues and I am in pain along with them. I try very hard not to touch someone who has any malady these days.
I donated my eggs to friends of the family several years ago [they had twin boys!] and when their mother went into labour I woke up with severe abdominal pains and sure enough 10mins later I had a phone call that she was being taken to hospital. I had this experience with one of my nephews too, I was caught in terrible traffic and I was going to turn back but something urged me on. Arriving at Mums my brother called to ask if we could watch his son as his partner had just gone into labour! I watched the miracle not more than 2 hours later.
Horses and I seem to have an affinity for each other. I've often been able to ride horses who will not behave for others or I can just command a horse with extremely subtle movements or thoughts, I have never and will never use a crop on a horse that is barbaric! Because of this, I feel equine creatures may be my spirit animal.
Phew! I think that's the most I've ever written about myself and I could still go on but these are the main points for me.
What do these things mean? Is it possible to constantly attract "dark" energy? What IS my time? How to I control these abilities?
Thank you for listening.