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Need To Identify


I have been what I call sensitive my entire life. I have always sensed things about people. I have had several experiences where I would touch a person and get a picture in my head about them, or experience a color, or a really strong feeling all over my body. I had experienced this with strangers and with people I loved. For example, I hugged my grandfather and felt just. Sick all over my body. It was like there was a flashing neon sign in the front of my brain saying SICK SICK SICK SICK and the color red just washed over the front of my brain. I knew right then that Grampa was sick and I would never hug him again.

It happened again six months after that when I was in the hospital. I met someone and shook their hand and lightning bolts just shot through my wrist, it hurt, like in pinprick spots. The colors black and yellow and white washed over the front of my head and I knew-I just knew, innately-that this guy was on coke or something. In a bad way. Like he shot it up. A couple days later the cops came to the hospital to arrest the guy. I never confirmed what I suspected. But the feeling was so innate, I never tried to deny it.

When I was a really little kid, maybe 5 or 6, I started hearing things. My grandmother had died, and I didn't know her that well, but I knew my mom was sad. One night I woke up, which was really rare for me, and I heard this radio playing. The thing is, we didn't have a radio in our house. The television wasn't on. Nobody was up. The neighbors weren't having a wild party. The music was playing so softly, and I got up and followed the music to my mother's room. I saw that her bathroom light was on, which wasn't normal, so I walked across the room to turn off the light. I opened the bathroom door and the light turned off. Her bedroom light switched on. The music was still playing. I got really scared and got in the bed with my mom, who was mad at me for turning the lights on, which I didn't do. After I got settled down and I was almost asleep, I heard myself say 'Gramma 'F' loves you'. It was my voice, but I didn't say it. After that my mother never wanted to talk about 'the things I see'.

This stuff happens to me all the time. And it isn't just touching something or someone and getting a picture in my head. I hear things. Not voices exactly, but it's almost like I hear an emotion or something. I talk to some of my family who are dead, and to a few dead people I didn't really know but that are connected with my family. I don't get a vocal response, but I will hear a noise or get a physical feeling and I just know they understood.

I also have premonitions. They are usually stupid, like a REALLY random song gets stuck in my head, and suddenly I am in the car, the song comes on the radio station, and then something happens that I dreamed about previously.

I want to identify the sensitivity I have. I want to learn how to develop it. I would like some help from anyone who might be experienced in similar situations.

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