For as long as I can remember I've heard voices. They aren't clear, or very loud; just loud enough to gain my attention. I know that I'm the only one hearing them because no one else ever seems to acknowledge that anyone even made a sound. When I was younger I used to always run down the stairs to find my mom or dad, thinking that it was just one of them calling for me. 8 out of 10 times they looked at me like I was insane before telling me that they in fact didn't call for me and that I was just hearing things.
As I got older, the frequency of the times I'd hear my name increased and with it the amount of words I could hear increased as well. They are never clear enough for me to pick out anything of any help so most days I just try to block it out. On top of this I have memories, but these aren't mine.
That sounds normal because most people have memories. I have MY memories, but I also have memories that I know I wasn't there before. My parents say they are just vivid dreams but I'm awake when I'm remembering. I remember everything from these almost misplaced memories. I remember the smells, the tastes, textures, people, what was said, what happened, so on and so forth.
There is one memory where my parents and I were at my father's work party for Christmas. I was upstairs with the rest of the kids because I was about 9 at the time. I was wearing a green velvet dress. One of the older boys there, he was probably about 13, asked me if I wanted to see something cool. Me being young and naive I agreed and went into his room with him. I hear the lock click as he shuts the door, and then he flicks the light switch. I feel him touch me as soon as the light goes off. I scream and I hit him. I fumble the lock and run downstairs but I never tell anyone. I know this didn't happen because we never went to any Christmas parties. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop when I fall asleep.
I have constant nightmares, they occur anywhere from four nights to every night of the week. In every single one, I can't wake up until I finally die in my dream. But, then when I wake up I can still see, smell, taste touch, and hear everything that happened in the dream. That usually only lasts a minute or so, but it's every day, has been since I was about 5 years old.
I just want to know if there is anyone out there with similar experiences. I want to know what's going on, if I'm insane or something more.
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