I feel as though there is an invisible force pulling me towards something that I cannot explain. For as long as I can remember I have been drawn to the night, I can breath in the fresh air under the night sky. I feel vibrant and alive. Sometimes I will just lay there on the soft grass staring up at the stars and have this sense of longing. A kind of unexplainable déjà vu. As if there is someone out there staring up at the night sky just like me, who can grasp the concept of feeling inexplicably so much more than just 'human'. How do you discover the truth though? That yearning for something that seems just out of reach? It baffles me. How do you attain what you seek, when you do not even know what that is.
I have an incredibly strong connection with animals, a love so profound I cannot explain it. Especially my feline companions.
People irritate me, just the way they go about daily life, it's so mundane, so ordinary. I feel as though I'm suffocating when I walk through the mall.
How are you supposed to rest when every night you see images of far away places, of people you recognise but do not know. I often wake in the early hours in tears, or shaking due to the sheer intensity of my dreams.
They are trying to tell me something.
I see a village burning, horses running scared and villagers screaming. A beautiful girl no more than her early twenties in a long white dress, golden hair and pale skin. Running towards one of the huts on fire, but she is pulled back by a man dressed in armour. Pulled into the forest away from the fire. Away from the chaos. Who is she and why is she so desperate to get to the burning hut? I wish I knew.
All I know for sure is I have an insane sense of déjà vu each and every day, a strong connection to the night, erratic mood swings, and a sense of needing something so desperately, but it being just out of my reach.
Until I discover exactly what that is, I will lay here on the soft grass under the night sky, and dream of a place far better than this.