When I was little my mom and me moved around a lot, she was an only mother and was working for hospitals so we would move whenever she had to switch locations. I have always had the ability to see, feel, and hear things that others didn't and hospitals were a great and horrible place to meet new people, even if they were dead. I grew up with it, sometimes it was scary but with Frank (a non-living older man who I met when I was two - he has become a companion of sorts) it was tolerable.
Frank would keep me safe from malicious/hurtful energies and would provide a nice even energy for me to rest on when things became too hectic. Sometimes he and others would show up in pictures that were taken of me. There is one where I'm in my crib and you can see almost nothing through a thick smoky substance. As I got older I would talk and play with whomever was near (or try to). Because we moved a lot I was used to new people and thought nothing of these people that only I could see. Like the lady that would stand by the kitchen window in the cherry house, or the boy that hid under the deck crying. Cemeteries were always interesting, there were a lot of sad people but none of them really scared me unless there was something horribly wrong with them. But living with them was just something to be expected, if any of them were mean then Frank was there to help.
For a long time my mom thought that I was just playing a game, it wasn't too farfetched, I was very creative. When I turned three I started suppressing the feelings and ignoring the images, my mom had had enough of my 'imaginary friends' and threatened to make me stay with my grandparents if I didn't stop making things up. I had abandonment issues when I was younger because of my mother and fathers divorce so I was petrified of me not living with her, so I stopped listening to them and pretended to not see them.
I fear that I lost Frank a little around this point as he stopped sitting on my bed at night, he would protect me from the 'monsters' that would come at night. According to my mom I went through a long phase of night terrors where I would hurt myself and a few times I ran away in the middle of the night. When she took me to the doctors they said I would grow out of it and that they could do nothing but give her restraints to put on me before I went to sleep.
At three in the morning I was brought into the emergency room with a dislocated shoulder and the doctor took the restraints back. They offered to give me low dosage sleeping pills but my mom didn't believe in them and also didn't want her child getting addicted to them. So she did the only thing that she could think of to help me, she had me start sleeping with her.
When I started sleeping with my mom she would have nightmares and I would have night terrors. There was one night that I remember very clearly; I was sleeping and suddenly was awake and staring at the foot of the bed, a man was there and he felt bad. He held down my legs and slowly I felt the pressure moving up my body, I couldn't move and started trying to hit or scratch him to get him to stop. I couldn't yell for my mom, no sound would come out. I lay there crying after he got my hands and held them down as well, then I blacked out and my mom was trying to hold my hands from my face.
My mom told me that she woke up to me crying (latter when I was older she told me that she had a dream that a man was attacking me) I was trying to claw at my thought and was cussing and screaming. Since then my family has accepted my explanation and believe me when I say I can see things, especially since I gave a message to my great grandmother from her husband who had died when I was five months old. I know some others in my family have this gift as well, I'm not sure how strong but I know my brother has walked in on several people in our house.
The reason I'm telling you this is because around five I finally got my sleep somewhat under control, I still sleepwalk, sleeptalk, have dreams of the future (even if some are really mundane), dream of people that are dead, talk to the dead in my dreams, but I haven't had anything take control like that one attack that I just told you about. That is until just recently, I had surgery and was on pain medication that had me sleeping 18 plus hours a day. While tiding my room I found a large number of drawings that I don't remember drawing, but it seems like I was trying to draw something, I'm not really sure what. It's mostly a large mass of scribbles but I'm trying to understand them.
I want to know if anyone would be willing to tell me their opinion on what happened to make all of this come rushing back. Now that I'm off the medicine I can't sleep like I use to, I can't get as deep as I used to and I wake up to anything. My awareness of everything has risen but is being more of a pain because of it. I get more and more 'visitors' and a whole new level of 'feeling' instead of feeling if a room is bad when I walk into it I can feel which room is bad when I stand outside the door.
I have been getting extremely nauseous around negative people (which is interfering with school and work) and migraines come more easily and last longer. My grandfather's brother (a Miwok - Bear Clan elder) told me that I was a shaman, and because I turned 19 while I was still recovering from my surgery and on the medication that my energy could have broke my suppressing walls that I made when I was three (he says this could also be the explanation for my two spirits as I am Pangender). He has offered to take me to a gathering in Mariposa that may help me to cleanse but I have to wait for a gathering. He has been doing white sage cleansings on his own for me and it seems to help a little.
Frank has since returned and it is great to see him again, he said that he was sticking close but I was dead set on ignoring everything. He has been watching me sleep lately and making sure to wake me if I start to sleepwalk or anything of the sort.
So really the question I need answered is this: What can I do to live a somewhat normal life, or at least help me ease into this so I don't have migraines and insomnia? Any suggestions would be graciously accepted.